Thursday, December 30, 2010

Delaying Sex = Better Relationships?

Jennifer Edlund's website

This just in from Fox News.....

Delaying Sex = Better Relationships?

Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds.
Couples who had sex the earliest — such as after the first date or within the first month of dating — had the worst relationship outcomes.
"What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run," study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, told LiveScience.
Busby and his colleagues published their work Dec. 28 in the Journal of Family Psychology.

The intricate nature of sex
Past research on sex and its link to relationship quality has revealed two different paradigms. In one, sex is considered essential to a developing relationship since it allows partners to assess their sexual compatibility. Following this line of thinking, couples who marry before testing out their sexual chemistry are at risk of marital distress and failure later on.
The opposing view posits couples who delay or abstain from sexual intimacy during the early part of their relationships allow communication and other social processes to become the foundation of their attraction to each other. Essentially, early sex could be detrimental to a relationship, skewing it away from communication, commitment and the ability to handle adversity, this thinking suggests.
And past studies have shown the sex-relationship link is a complex one. For instance, a 2004 study of nearly 300 college students in dating relationships showed that when couples were highly committed, sex was more likely to be seen as a positive turning point in the relationship, increasing understanding, commitment, trust and a sense of security. However, when commitment and emotional expressions were low, the initiation of sex was significantly more likely seen as a negative event, evoking regret, uncertainty, discomfort, and prompting apologies.
Sex comes early nowadays
In the new study, Busby and his colleagues looked specifically at timing of sexual relations. They recruited 2,035 heterosexual individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages. Participants reported when they first had sexual relations with their current spouse; they also answered communication questions, which evaluated how well they could express empathy and understanding toward their partners, how well they could send clear messages to their partners, and other questions.Other items on the questionnaire focused on relationship satisfaction and stability, with the latter gauged by three questions: how often they thought their relationship was in trouble; how often they thought of ending the relationship; and how often they had broken up and gotten back together.

Individuals were categorized as either having:
• Early sex (before dating or less than one month after they started dating).
• Late sex (between one month and two years of dating).
• And those who waited until after they married.
Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.
Compared with those in the early sex group, those who waited until marriage:
• Rated relationship stability as 22 percent higher
• Rated relationship satisfaction as 20 percent higher
• Rated sexual quality as 15 percent better
• Rated communication as 12 percent better
"Curiously, almost 40 percent of couples are essentially sexual within the first or second time they go out, but we suspect that if you asked these same couples at this early stage of their relationship – 'Do you trust this person to watch your pet for a weekend many could not answer this in the affirmative' – meaning they are more comfortable letting people into their bodies than they are with them watching their cat," Busby said.
He added that those couples who wait to be sexual have time to figure out how trustworthy their partner is, how well they communicate, and whether they share the same values in life "before the powerful sexual bonding short-circuits their decision-making abilities."
Right now, the team is repeating the study on a larger sample in a longitudinal design – in which participants are followed over time. "We are particularly curious about people who report wanting to wait to be sexual but then they don't follow through on their beliefs, this may be a unique group with unique outcomes," Busby said.






On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Man charged with felony for reading his wife's e-mail to track an affair

Jennifer Edlund's website

What do you think about this?


A Michigan man faces up to 5 years in prison for reading his wife's e-mail to find out if she was having an affair, the Detroit Free Press reports.


The newspaper says Leon Walker, 33, of Rochester Hills, has been charged with a felony after reading Clara Walker's GMail account on a laptop the now-divorced couple shared. He goes to trial in February.
Oakland County prosecutors used a state statute typically used to prosecute crimes like identity theft or stealing trade secrets, the newspaper says.


Leon, Clara Walker's third husband, found out in an e-mail that she was having an affair with her second husband, who was once arrested for beating her in front of her small son. Leon Walker showed the e-mail to that son's father, Clara's first husband, who filed an emergency motion to obtain custody.
"I was doing what I had to do," Leon Walker, a computer technician, tells the Free Press. "We're talking about putting a child in danger."
Oakland County prosecutor Jessica Cooper, in a voice mail to the newspaper, calls Walker a skilled "hacker" who used his wife's e-mail "in a contentious way."
In preliminary testimony, Clara testified that while Leon had bought her that laptop, it was hers alone and that she kept the password a secret.
Leon Walker says he routinely used the computer and that she kept all of her passwords in a small book next to it. "It was a family computer," he says. "I did work on it all the time."

Should it be illegal to read spouse's e-mail?

 




On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



 

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Ask the Professor

Jennifer Edlund's website


It's Sunday and time for another edition of Edlund 101


Can you attempt my class.....



Hi Professor. I was wondering when I should I call a woman back after the first date? - Tim, Houston Texas
I can honestly tell you that I despise this game. This “wait three days to call her,” rule is bullshit. Listen, if she gains your interest call her the next day. It's not going to make you look desperate. Shit or get off the pot is what I like to say. We want to know you're interested, and frankly making us wait around for you drives us nuts. And hey, depending on the type of woman---this could be a deal breaker.

Dear Edlund 101: I have a serious problem. My boyfriend is verbally abusive and the things he says make me feel small, insecure and unworthy... what should I do? – Amanda Long, Colorado
Edlund 101 followers do not date men who are abusive in any which way or form. At any given sign of this behavior we are out. I suggest you DTB immediately. He is not going to get any better and odds are, he is just going to get worse. Get out before you end up in some serious trouble. I don’t get care how much you love him…..run bitch, run for your life.

I’m curious. When should a couple announce they are dating? – Jamie K- San Diego, CA
What’s the big deal about letting people know you are dating someone? Unless the person you decide to date is going to reek havoc in your personal life, then it shouldn't be some big secret. I guess could say that announcing that this person is your boyfriend/girlfriend is a more serious question. And second, you are not officially a couple when you are “dating”….unless you are dating exclusively. So it doesn’t matter, unless you just don’t want people to know.

A guy I've been seeing has tons of porno saved on his computer. Is this unusual? –Anonymous
Men will be men. You can’t stop them from looking at naked pictures of women…especially with the Internet at their fingertips. It's in their DNA, although like everything else in life, it should be done in moderation. And you might want to take in consideration what type of porn he is looking at. Is it Playboy or hardcore. If it's hardcore then I would be somewhat concerned about the guys mental state. Also, if you notice that he has become obsessed with his pornography and it’s taken over his life and your relationship---you have a serious problem on your hands. However, if it’s every once in a while, it’s no big deal in my opinion.

Edlund101: What age do you think is ideal for a girl to get married and why do you believe so? Brian Foster, Wyoming
I've always believed that no one should get married before the age of 25. I know a great number of people whom have gotten married at 18, 20, 21, 22...and most of these people have only been in one serious relationship their whole life. Actually, what does someone at the age of 18 know about a serious relationship? They are still kids themselves. Then you have to factor in that possibly when someone as young as 18 or 21 gets older and wises up that they will begin to see the light. He/she finally realizes that they've only been with one person their entire young life. And suddenly they end up with feelings of regret----regretting that they never had the chance to experience life and dating. He/she also might begin to wonder what it would be like to be with someone else That's when the trouble starts. And I know someone in that exact situation. I'm not saying everyone is going to end up this way, but statistics show that in this day in age when someone marries under the age of 25, it usually ends up in divorce. Just say'in.


Class is now dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Friday, December 17, 2010

How to Use an Online Dating Profile to Catch an Unfaithful Partner

Class is now in session....

It was over five years ago that I was in my first so-called, “serious” relationship. I was just head over heels for this guy I met four years prior. And thus began a shaky relationship that lasted off and on for about four years. During the duration of our relationship, I had my suspicions about him. I knew some things were just a little off, but I continued to hang on to his every word. Our problems started when I wouldn’t put out. Don’t get the wrong idea. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but rather deep down, I didn’t fully trust him. He agreed to wait until I was ready, but his word only lasted all of ten seconds. He had no patience, so when he didn’t get what he wanted he would decide to disappear for few weeks, months and the longest was even a year. This was exactly the reason why I didn’t want to have sex wit him in the first place, because he pulled stunts like this. God only knows what he was doing behind my back all that time. It went on like this for about four years. Back then I was young and dumb and had no clue as to what to expect in the dating world. Knowing who I am now, I have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior in a relationship. And if that had happened to me in this day in age, his ass would have been grass the first time he did me wrong. Anyway, after the fourth time we broke up and got back together, he seemed to really want to work things out. But if he thought he was going to get into my pants that easily, he was dead wrong. There was no way in hell I’d give it up that quickly after all the bullshit and heartache he’d put me through. He was really going to have to man up and make me believe that he had changed.

Back in 2005, we both had MySpace accounts. One particular day at work I was once again feeling very suspicious of my then “boyfriend.” We had a conversation the night before about what I had to do to officially become his, “girlfriend.” He actually said verbatim that I had to have sex with him to be his girlfriend. I was an idiot back then. I was going to fall for it, but not until I eased my conscience. That day I came up with a plan. I made another MySpace account profile. I searched around the internet and found some pictures of a girl, who was pretty sexy. She didn’t look fake or photo shopped. This girl looked like someone he’d be interested in. Yes, I was going to find out once and for all if I could trust this guy. I played around with the profile giving it a phony bio, etc. And then of course I used this account to email my “boyfriend.” It started off as just a friendly email to him. I wrote, “Hi! Your profile caught my eye. Where are you from?” I wasn’t surprised at how quickly he emailed me back. His message wasn’t long, just a reply with, “Irvine. How are you doing?” Yeah--- pretty harmless. The next day I took it a step further. Of course I couldn’t get down and dirty the first day, otherwise he would know it was a set-up. This time I was ready to catch him with his pants down. I emailed him that afternoon from the same account asking, “I’m doing great. You’re pretty cute. Do you have a girlfriend? If not, we should meet up sometime.” The reply took longer this time, but imagine the sickness I felt in my stomach when I read, “No, I do not have a girlfriend. Yes, we should hang out.” And I continued to keep this email going with one last reply, “How about this Wednesday? Here’s my number 714-535-1105.” He got back at me with, “That sounds good to me. I’ll call you in a few days.” Oh man, I was absolutely floored. How could this asshole do something like this! Unfortunately, my impulsiveness got the best of me. I immediately texted that douche with, “I can’t believe you!” Oh and he probably got the shock of his life knowing that I knew exactly what he just pulled. And that bastard tried to save his ass by telling me that it was his friend who sent those emails. Yeah right. Real smooth there buddy, real smooth. Then he immediately retaliates by throwing the whole incident back at me. He said he did nothing wrong and he knew it was me the whole time. I was just looking to stir up shit. Do I need to say that I DTB him faster than I could say his name? This time it was over for good. I had gotten the answer I wanted and I finally knew the type of person he was for sure. It’s funny; two can play the lying game. I actually told him that I had a friend come up with the whole idea and it was her that was emailing him. And he believed it. Just a stupid, childish, ridiculous game.

By all means, I’m not saying that setting your boyfriend up is the right way to go, but when you have suspicions….sometimes you just have to act on them. A women’s intuition never fails. You just have to beware that you can only go so far with this. You only have one shot and if you’re not good at being sneaky then I wouldn’t suggest playing around with fire. It can be dangerous and you might get burned. And mentally prepare yourself for the outcome. Once you find out the truth it’s like a punch in a gut Also, know what you’re getting yourself into when you do something like this. Once the cat is out of the bag you lose trust on both sides, whether you decide to work it out or not.

I’ve only done this one time in my lifetime. I would probably never do it again due to the fact that I’ve wised up about men. When I get the feeling a guy is doing something shady I DTB as fast I can. It never fails. The scary part is--- we live in such an advanced information technology highway that it’s really not that hard to find out anything we want about anyone anymore.

Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jealousy: Why the thought of his ex-girlfriend drives you crazy


Class is now in session….

It’s been known that after a woman meets a guy she really likes, the subject of the “ex-girlfriend” will come up at one time or another. Try as you might, if you’re looking to get into a serious relationship with him you can never avoid it. I’ve had a lot of friends in the past tell me that as soon as he started talking about his ex-girlfriend, she would create all sorts of dire thoughts and images her head that were bound to bring up drama in the relationship. And it goes something like this:

Guy: My last relationship lasted about two years.

Girl: Hmm…I wonder if she’s prettier than me. I have to see what this bitch looks like.

Guy: It didn’t work out, but she wants to remain friends.

Girl: Friends? If I see her even come within twenty feet of you it’s on like donkey kong.

Guy: When we decided to break up, she was actually pretty easy going about it.

Girl: Skank!

And during this whole talk, you can’t rid the thought of them sleeping together. This leads to what I like to call the “Sloppy-Seconds” factor. Let’s face it--- everyone we’ve dated has most likely been in a relationship before you. You may be special, but you ain’t that special. To think that your man is like some new car on the lot that’s never been driven is unrealistic. In fact, you’re probably not even sloppy seconds. You are more like thirds, fourths, fifths or hundredths. Does that mean you should dwell on every single relationship of his past? If you do….YOU CRAZY. Not to mention, you got some serious issues. Mostly likely you shouldn’t be in a relationship until you get your head checked out. And I’m not making this shit up. I know many women like this. Everyone has a past and what happened in the past should stay in the past. Frankly, who your man dated before you is none of your damn business. Of course, no one is perfect and I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve checked up on a guy after he’s talked about his ex-girlfriend. Only because it gives me a sense of whom he is and what grade of man I’m going to end up with. If I discover that his ex was a total loser or complete piece of trash what does that say about the guy? As they say-- you are who your friends are. And this is usually the only reason why I do some investigation if need be. If you have to scratch the itch, do so quietly and then move on. Just don’t anything extreme.

In other circumstances, the ex-girlfriend might still be hanging around. If this is the case, there are reasons to be concerned. Although, there is nothing you can do if he has a child with his woman. Remember, it was your choice to get involved with him knowing he had this baggage, so if you can’t handle it then its best you hit the road. The reality is--- she is going to be a part of his life FOREVER. On the flipside, if your man has no ties to his ex-girlfriend then there should really be no reason why she’s still in his life. And don’t even fall for the “well we’re friends,” bullshit. We all know that at some point in time these “friends” will probably hook up again. For instance, I know a guy who is extremely on and off with his “girlfriend.” And guess who he decides to start playing nicey-nice with when she’s not around? Me. Every time he breaks up with her, he comes running back to me, acting like he’s interested. During this time he will constantly keep in contact with me. Oh, I used to fall for it and I wanted to believe that it was over for good. Then after the fifth time they broke up I’d had it. I was sick of his sniveling and complaining. I’d been though his crying games so many times that I knew they would eventually get back together even if he didn’t want to admit it. It drove me crazy, but not in the jealously type way. I felt more like the used shoulder that had been cried on one to many times. The truth is his girlfriend is complete piece of redneck garbage. But as they say…love is blind.

Ladies, you need to face it. When you date a guy, you basically are dating everyone he dated before you. Do not go looking for things you cannot change. Dwelling on his past is unhealthy and will not do the relationship any good. You will probably kill it. What goes around comes around and chances are…the next girl he dates will likely be wondering about you.

Class dismissed.



On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Monday, December 13, 2010

If I die young...


It’s been two months since I last wrote a blog entry, but there is a reason for this. Many of you do not know that Ms. Edlund101 has been through a lot of trauma in these last past weeks. As you can see, the last entry I wrote was on September 27th.  I was even prepared to write another blog entry the next day, but then a life altering event turned my world upside down.

The evening of September 27th I went on a date with a guy I thought I liked. When I got home, I checked my cell phone and I saw that I had several missed calls from my mom and aunt. Automatically I think, “Oh no, what now.” I called my aunt back and she informed me that my dad collapsed at home and had been rushed to the ER. I didn’t think it was much more then that flu or some other virus. The urgency of this situation really didn’t faze me. I told my aunt I had to work in the morning and I would have to ask my boss if I could leave early the next day. At work the following day, I got a phone from my mom and she made it imperative that everyone in the family needed to be at the hospital as a family. That morning my Dad had a blood transfusion and the doctors were going to tell us exactly what type of sickness he was dealing with after he had a series of tests done: MRI, and a liver biopsy, etc.  I ended up leaving work, knowing that the family was now in a state of emergency. That afternoon I got to the hospital in Murrieta and of course, we sat around all day waiting for answers. This was just the first of taste of what these so-called “doctors” did to leave a bad taste in my mouth. No sense of urgency what so ever. The nurse came in and said, “Oh the doctor will be talking with you tonight, I just don’t know what time.” Then she came back in at about 10pm after we’d been waiting anxiously all day and announced, “Oh the doctor said he’s not coming in tonight, he’ll be meeting with you tomorrow morning.” Are you freaking kidding me? Come to find out no one will know any results of lab for the liver biopsy for a few days. I ended up staying at my parent’s house in the meantime. When we got the results of the liver biopsy, that’s when all shit hit the fan. Now, I’m not savvy in all the doc talk, but I think it was the oncologist that informed us that my Dad had stage four melanoma cancer of the liver. Multiple tumors had formed on his liver and spine. And this would explain why my Dad was having so much pain in his back. Of course my Dad would undergo treatment to find out if they could shrink the tumors since they said it was at its last stage and they didn’t know how much could be done. When I think back to this today, a vivid image flashes in my mind---how my dad looked the moment he found out he had cancer. He just gazed out the hospital room window with this distraught and shocked expression upon his face. I believe he was thinking, “Is this really happening to ME?”
At the end of the week they released him from the hospital. But he would go back to the hospital regularly for treatment and blood transfusions until they could get him into to the clinical trials at UCLA. He had to leave the hospital using a cane due to the fact that he was having trouble walking. After that I didn’t see my dad for a week. When I came back to my parent’s house in Temecula and saw my Dad, it was like a shock to the system. He had lost a good amount of weight. The t-shirt he wore regularly around the house for years was like a tent on him. He looked comparably to an eighty-year old man. And now my Dad was longer using a cane---he had downgraded to a walker. My heart just broke. I sensed it was the beginning of the end. This once strong man was now incredibly weak and at the mercy of others. I can’t even begin to explain the pain that rips through me knowing he had to sleep in the downstairs bedroom because he was no longer able to walk upstairs. And not only that, but the excruciating pain he was in.
 Another week went by. I came for another visit only to find out that the doctors were basically letting him sit there and rot while they took their sweet time getting back to us with what kind of treatment and hospital he would be going too. And you want to know why? These moronic pieces of shit doctors had lost my dad’s liver biopsy, so until they could find it; my dad was at their mercy. And they wouldn’t take another sample unless my parents paid for it. UNFUCKINGBELIEABLE.  And I call tell you right now you those two weeks were crucial for his survival. We all know how fast cancer spreads. Anyway, the last week I saw him at home was the weekend of October 24th.  He was at the point where he couldn’t even use a walker---the muscle mass in his legs were gone. He was now resorting to a wheelchair. To make matters more disheartening, he wanted to be with my mom upstairs, and it was too much trouble to get him up and downstairs with the wheelchair in tow. My mom decided to permanently keep him upstairs. So my Dad was confined to our movie theater room for the rest of his stay at the house. His day consisted of basically watching television and sleeping. The next time I would see my Dad would be when doctors finally released him to UCLA Santa Monica hospital. I got a phone call on November 1st with even more bad news. The tumors had spread to his brain, and he could no longer go into clinical trials because of this. I was in complete devastation. That same day, I planned on going to the gym to get my mind off things. But all I ended up doing was sitting in my car in the gym parking lot crying hysterically. I just couldn’t believe it was happening. I hated to believe that the end of coming. All I keep thinking about was, “Oh my god, I’m not going to have a dad anymore. This can’t be happening. I’m too young for this shit.” My brother told me a few weeks before, when he was in the hospital at Murrieta, that the doctor told my Dad that he had six months to live and he should get his affairs in order. My mom was not supposed to know this. She was on the verge on a nervous breakdown as it was. On November 3rd I went to visit my Dad at the hospital in L.A. He seemed in good spirits and very hopeful that the treatments of radiation and chemo were going to work. Well the day I came to visit him they stopped the chemo. His white blood cells were really low and he got an infection of some sort. To all of our dismay, the doctors didn’t plan to start it up again. But they would continue to do the radiation. The night I left the hospital, my dad was his usual grumpy self. It amazed me that the disease had not affected his personality. I called my dad for the next several days. I even said happy birthday to him. His birthday was on the 8th of November and he was able to say happy birthday to me…mine was on the 10th. (Yeah happy fricking birthday) I wasn’t able to go see him as much as I liked. I had to work and then I got really sick that next whole week. The hospital obviously didn’t want sick people in the building, so I missed a whole week with my dad. And let me tell you….in a whole week I’d never seen someone ill decline as fast as he did. I finally went back to the hospital on November 18th. What I saw when I walked into the hospital room is something I will never be able to get out of my mind. There was my dad, only the shell of the person who he used to be, laying on the bed, his eyes rolling back into his head and he was moaning in pain. I broke down outside the hospital room. When I finally was able to pull it together, I walked back into the room where the doctors were gathered around my father. My mother was also at his bedside. The doctors stated that there is nothing more they could do but make him comfortable. The melanoma was all throughout his bone marrow and so they would cease future treatments and instead up the morphine. Worst of all, the brain tumors had gotten bigger. The radiation had done nothing. Basically the doctors told us that his body was shutting down. My dad was still coherent at the time, and I knew he could hear everything they were saying. When I walked in the room that day he saw me and mumbled my name. Even when his sister showed up, my Dad knew she was there and he even said her name. That day we also snuck my miniature poodle into see my Dad. He adored and loved my dog so much. I could tell he was so happy to see him. But of course we got bitched at by the nurses and doctors, so my brother had to take the dog home. I stayed over night at the hospital with my mom that day. At 6:00am on November 19th, I woke up to the sound of my dad breathing irregularly. It kind of startled me, so I got up out of my makeshift bed and went to check up on him. I talked to him and put my head on his chest, told him that I loved him. Amazingly, he lifted his arm and put his hand on my arm, which was strewn across his chest. He did his several times. I kept telling him, “I love you, Daddy….I love you, Daddy.” Then I went back to my makeshift bed. At 8:00, I woke up again. My Mom was knocked out by choice. She had taken a sleeping pill, hours before hand. At this time a nurse came into the room wheeling a vital machine (sorry I’m not technical in the medical department, so I don’t know the exact name) she said was going to take his vitals. After a moment, the nurse looked at the machine rather oddly and then left the room. She came back with about six other doctors who gathered around my dad’s bed as though they were in a medical emergency on some television show. I asked what was going on and a lady doctor came over to me and gently said, “Honey your dad’s body is shutting down. He’s getting ready to go. We don’t know when but it could be hours, or moments. We just don’t know yet.” I cried heavily and went to my dad’s beside. Just hours before there was still some life left in him, and now he was completely incoherent. My mom finally awoke and lay beside him, telling him how much she loved him. And I did too. The nurse told me to tell my dad that it was okay to go---we would be okay. Then I watched my father, the person I’d known almost 30 years, take his final breath, like a fish out of water, and leave this world. It was 9:00am on November 19th.  He was 60 years-old. The cancer took his life in only 1 month and three weeks.

 So as you can read, I’ve been in no mood to write any blogs. Some of you thought I had given up. No, not exactly. I just needed some time after the trauma I’ve been through. I’m trying little by little, day by day get back on track. And I plan to eventually get back on track with this as much as I can.


                                                          Father's Day 2009....
                                                   My Mom and Dad on my Dad's birthday Nov 8th
Maurice when we brought him into the hosptial the day before my dad died.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 




Monday, September 27, 2010

Should you make sure your partner's astrological sign is compatible with yours before committing?


Class is now in session....

A few years ago I would have never dreamed of believing in astrology. In fact, I didn't know much about it and I didn't care too. I had read horoscopes in the past and they were pure bullshit. Yeah, right like anyone could predict my day, what a crock. Then cue in my last roommate---a totally dead beat mom, and not to mention a f*ked up loser. Before her melt down, she had a very kind and spiritual side to her. During her short duration of living with me, she began to fill me in on astrological signs. Now, I’m Scorpio so I know my sign down to a tee. Everything about me/Scorpio is true to form. Plus, my father is Scorpio and he fits the description like no other---but that’s a whole another Oprah. My eye-opener about signs took place about seven months ago when I began dating someone I thought had potential. My roommate and I got to talking about him one day and she asked me what his sign was. I said he was a Cancer. And come to find out, so was she. She was quick to fill me in on the mysteriousness of a Cancer and all their traits. She described what sounded exactly like the guy I was dating. Ah yes, both of these people were troubled sensitive souls. (And I happen to have a soft spot for them.) Then my roommate revealed these ridiculous facts, like how most Cancers are typically thin. Hmm…really? So my wheels started turning on this one. I thought about all the Cancer’s I knew in my life----my sister (as thin as a rail) my then roommate (had the body of a ten-year-old boy) my co-worker (super skinny). I asked the guy I was dating about it and he said he used to be the thinnest guy in his class. The revelation took place when I was having a karaoke party that same year. It happened when this random girl showed up. She was very tall and slender; her figure kind of reminded me of my sister’s. The first thing that popped into my mind was, “Are you a Cancer?” and she said, “Yeah I am. How did you know?” Amazing. I had never met this girl in my life, but yet I was able to pick up on that? Could it be that that this astrological sign thing is actually true? Totally intrigued, I had to look up on the internet whom Scorpios are most compatible with and wouldn’t you know....Scorpio females are most compatible with Cancer males. This just spoke to me, and suddenly a lot of things in my life started to make sense. First of all, my grandfather, one of the greatest people I ever knew, was a Cancer. We got along like no other. And then there was the guy I was dating at the time--- we were so compatible, yet our lives were going in different directions. I was heartbroken that it didn’t work out. I'd never dated a Cancer until that point in time. And now I’ve convinced myself that I will end up with one. My immediate thought after all this was: is this what I’ve been doing wrong? Going out with the wrong signs? Oh I was going to find that answer out in the next few months. Flash forward to March. I had just moved in with a friend. Suddenly, every time I turn around another guy is hitting me up and wanting to going out.  I'd never in life dated as much as I did before I moved. I'll blame it on the area I lived in. Nothing ever happened there, I never met anyone. Then I moved to a party city and life changed drastically. The first guy I dated while I was living here (we will call him Steve to protect that innocent) was a Gemini. I'd never been out with a Gemini, so I knew nothing about them. He’d recently moved back to the area and wanted to take me on a date. So I said what the hell, I'll go. We met up and he seemed totally cool....until he opened his mouth. For the life of me, this guy would not shut-up. He'd go on and on about the most dull and irrelevant things. It got to the point where I just wanted to shoot myself. I mean he was nice, but he just bored me to death with all his blabbing. Sometimes he would come over and talk his ass off and end up staying until the very wee hours of the morning. Maybe if he had talked about something interesting I would have felt differently. So anyway, I went home that night and looked up the Gemini sign. I almost died when I read, “A Scorpio thinks of a Gemini as a talking parrot and finds this annoying.” Omg, it was dead on…. “Gemini’s are also flighty in behavior and child like. They also tend to look very youthful.” I thought of my uncle who's a Gemini---he looks really young for his age and he's also a flighty bastard. Interestingly enough, this guy I was dating did not look his age either. He was thirty-three in the body of a twenty-year-old. Ah yes, Gemini pegged. His sissy la la side came out on the second date when a wasp flew over his head and he screamed like a little girl. Third date, I found out he played with Legos. It wasn't long after the fourth date that his flighty behavior took affect. He emailed me one day stating that he thought he wanted to date again (he had broken up with his girlfriend three months prior) but he didn't think he was ready to be in a relationship, but he really liked me. He just wasn’t ready. Thank God because I was not down with a thirty-three-year-old man playing with Legos. Thanks! Then shortly after this guy, along came Paul--- another Gemini. Yes, these Gemini's are attracted to me like flies on shit. So I go out with Paul and this guy is the typical Gemini asshole if there ever was one. It was unbelievable what a douche this guy was. After him, I would never date a Gemini again. Been there done that--- Gemini's are out. A month later I went out with another guy named, John who was a Leo. I know all about Leo's. My very first boyfriend was a Leo: Controlling, arrogant, and it's usually their way or the highway. And yes, John fit the description of a Leo; total douche. I could not deal with it. Okay, now I had to due away with the Leo's. Let it be known that my first boyfriend made me miserable and now I understood why.
Yes, I know many people say they do not believe in astrological bullshit and to each their down. But sadly, it's sort of like a religion to me now. And I can't force anyone to believe the way I believe. Certain things pertaining to astrology in the past year have made me look at life in a different way. Now, every time I meet a guy I automatically ask his birth date. I’m not going to judge a book by its cover…but when a man is a Gemini or Leo—please stay away from me. Why date one when I know it’s going to be waste of my time? Not to mention, heartache. We can try to be friends, but we will never date. Thankfully, I still have 10 other signs left. I’ll stick with those. So do I believe we should you make sure your partner's astrological sign is compatible with yours before committing? It varies. I wouldn't say you should focus your whole life around it. Just because your sign says you are compatible with a Libra doesn’t mean you should only date Libras. Many people who believe in astrology actually don't end up with their matches. Just like my blog, astrology should be a guideline. You don't have to follow it to a tee. So here are some guidelines in the world of astrological signs for the ladies out there.

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19:

Capricorn is most compatible with Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces, and is least compatible with Gemini, Aries, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.


Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The best match for an Aquarius woman is a Gemini man. Perfectly made for each other...soul mates. Sexual attraction with them is likely to be intense, as Aquarius finds Gemini to be very attractive physically. The Gemini boy and Aquarius girl combination is excellent because you really appreciate the most interesting qualities in each other. You are both intelligent, insightful people and you will delight in the amazing conversations that you have together. You also share each other’s taste for variety and new experiences, so you’ll have a lot of fun together. Your physical chemistry is strong and romance for both of you is more creative and fun with each other than with most other signs. You will have the best of both worlds in this relationship, because you will be both great friends and great romantic partners.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
A Scorpio or Taurus man is the best. Scorpio men love to take control over sweet Pisces woman; Taurus men are possessive too - but more home-loving and sentimental than Scorpio men.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Most compatible with Leo, Sagittarius
Can be good with Taurus, Gemini, Aquarius, and Pisces
A 50-50 chance with Virgo, Scorpio
Doubtful with Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, Aries

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
A Leo or Aquarius. They will be confident enough to handle all of her personality flaws.


Gemini: 5/21-6/21
For a Gemini, Aries, Leo, Libra, and Aquarius are your best choices, but your opposite is Sagittarius.
Now whoever said Virgo makes the best match should be given a few stern words since Virgos, as well as Pisces, are the WORST matches for a Gemini.

Cancer: 6/22-7/22
They say that your best matches are those of your element. (Pisces, Cancer, & Scorpio)

Leo: 7/23-8/22
If you want a truly accurate answer, you'll have to look at several placements in your chart....your Moon, you Venus, your Mars, 7th house, 5th house, and Juno.
A cursory answer would be, another Fire sign would work well for you. Another Leo, a Sag, or an Aries. Also, Leo gets on with Libra pretty well.

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
If you are looking for a love partner or match, then the most likely to be paired up with Virgo women are Taurus men.

Libra: 9/23-10/22
By sun signs as you are asking, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Gemini

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
The best match for Scorpio is Capricorn. Cancer, Pisces, Virgo are also good matches.

Sagittarius: 11/22-12/21
Fearless Aries' love of adventure suits Sagittarius to at T! The ram's natural leadership qualities present no problems for Sags; the archer doesn't mind following as long as the road is leading somewhere.
Both of these signs are repelled by rules and share an intense love of freedom. While Aries can be a bit impulsive and quick-tempered, Sagittarius brings a level of responsibility and sound judgment to the pairing that helps keep things on an even keel.
Being creatures of action, Leos pair up well with adventurous Sagittarians. This coupling loves to travel together and also shares great enthusiasm for the arts. While Leos tend to knock heads with Taureans and wear out even the most passionate Scorpios, Sagittarians seems to provide just enough grounding to keep the relationship on track. And of course, Sagittarius has an insatiable love to know just what Leo will come up with next!

Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Friday, September 17, 2010

Why women fall in love with fictional characters



Class is now in session...

I was seven years old when I watched my first soap opera. I remember sitting with my mother in front of the television eating a sandwich, engrossed in, “All My Children.” The character I most remember was Erica Crane. She was so glamorous. And I remember thinking to myself, “Are all women suppose to look and be this captivating?” Flash forward ten years. At this time I was addicted to another soap opera. I would come home everyday after work and immerse myself in these worthless storylines. And the thing that got to me was all the gorgeous rippled men they always seemed to cast. Somehow I got it in my mind that all my boyfriends should look like one of these guys. So I sought out to find one. I would not settle until I got what I wanted. Well, if I had continued to think this way today, I would be a very lonely girl.

First of all, women have a preconceived notion of what their future husbands/boyfriends should look like because of these Hollywood and television fairy tales. In fact, the entertainment industry has kind of brain washed women into believing they have a chance of finding their Brad Pitts. Let me tell you, finding a Brad Pitt (if that’s your type. I’m rather partial to Hugh Jackman myself) is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And it’s not only the looks factor that we are misguided on. Women get sucked into believing that these fictional characters are true to form, as though they are going to meet prince charming and everything is going to be rainbows and butterflies…a real Hollywood romance. Uh….wrong! Take for example the Twilight movies. Almost every woman I know has a thing for Edward and I don’t know why because I find him ugly as hell, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, women wish he were real. After this movie came out I logged onto Facebook and saw someone created group called, “Now that I’ve seen Twilight I have high expectations of men.” What? Are you kidding me? Or I heard that when the movie, Avatar, came out people were depressed and suicidal because they wanted to live in their world. Seriously? Get a life people! Let’s be real here. Most of the time the really attractive men are a bunch of a-holes and players, just because they know how good looking they are. Not only that, but most of these guys don’t seem to have a lot going on in their head. Is that what a woman really wants? A mannequin? If so she is in for a rude awakening. Although that seems to be what a man wants from a woman---the super hot brain dead bimbo. But that’s because it’s easier for them to get laid when she’s as dumb as a box of rocks. I’ve come to learn that average looking men are the ones who treat you the best. Now how often do they show that in movies? Besides, dating a mega attractive man is pretty stressful. Every where you go women will be eying your man. And then when you see him looking back you feel completely self conscious like you aren’t good enough for him. Why would you want that? I live in Orange County and people automatically think that because I live in the OC that I could come from the land of the beautiful. Eh…wrong again. Truth be told, I do not see many attractive men around here. Sure, there are a ton of attractive women, but rarely do any of the men in Orange County catch my attention. And I’m not talking about them having to be perfect…but rarely do I even see half decent. Then just the other day I was sitting at Coffee Bean and I look across from me and see a young guy with the most perfect face---nearly model
quality. He was the typical tall, dark and handsome. I looked at him and said to myself, “This guy looks like nothing but trouble.” Not to mention probably one of the biggest assholes on the planet. But hey, never judge a book by its cover. I just rather not deal with it.

Most women whom center their life around fictional characters are usually unhappy with themselves and their own lives. Obviously, reality is not something they want to endure. This fantasy of meeting the nearly perfect man they saw on television the night before sounds better than real life. First of all, if a woman is not happy with herself, she should not be focusing on trying to find Mr. Perfect or any man for that matter. They need to love thy self before they can love anyone else. This may sound cliché, but it’s the God’s honest truth.

Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ask The Professor


So starting this Thursday, every Thursday will be “Ask Professor Edlund” day where I will take emails about your questions or dilemma and answer them on my blog, since a lot of you losers out there don’t know what the hell you are doing. Yes, I am here to help you out with the obvious. And reiterate the Edlund 101 Rules. So let’s get to it, shall we?

Can you attempt my class.....



Hey Professor Edlund, your blog interests me. I have a question. At what stage in dating (after how long) would I be able to invite a lady for a weekend overnight trip? Andy- Austin, Texas

Andy,

First of all, please tell me that this woman is your girlfriend and second, if you are thinking about taking her on a trip like this she better be putting out. We no longer live in a society where we go on fancy vacations with our boyfriends and get separate rooms. That’s ludicrous. If she thinks she’s going to get away with that then she should not be going on any over night trips with you in the first place. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, like if you two are *ahem* highly religious church goers. I know plenty of Moron people who travel together and have separate rooms. But if that’s not the case, you best be getting laid before the trip or the night of. When men spend large amounts of money on a woman for a fancy vacations or trips they expect certain things---let’s just say it’s sort of like a return on their investment. I know, I hate to admit it, but it’s the sad truth. Most importantly, remember I only condone this type of behavior if you are in a serious relationship.

Professor Edlund 101, I was wondering how long in dating (months) before a guy knows if the girl is a keeper or just for fun? – Anonymous – Jacksonville, Florida

If a girl follows the Edlund 101 rules, a guy will know she’s a keeper. But seriously, usually a man can tell within the first five minutes of meeting a woman if she is a keeper…meaning if he’s sexually attracted or not. First his penis has to go “Schwiiiing” and then that little pea brain of his will actually start to think logically. I know that when I’m a date it’s within the first TEN minutes that I discover if I’ll ever want to date the dude again. But like I’ve said before, there are warning signs that should be able to tell you if she’s just for fun or to be taken seriously. Say for instance if she fools around or sleeps with you on the first date, she’s out indefinitely. These types of women are nothing more than play things. A woman who has some class and doesn’t let a man walk all over her is a keeper.


Hi there! If a woman has sex on the 4th date, do most guys think she is easy? – Anonymous

Unless she is in a monogamous relationship by the fourth date…then yes, most guys should think she’s easy. Edlund 101 followers do not have sex unless we are in a committed monogamous relationship. Period. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or the tenth.

Professor, in your opinion, discuss how important physical attractiveness is when meeting or dating a potential long-term partner? Lynn- Portland, OR

Lynn,

When I was younger I thought I had a type. I was only going to date the dark, tall and handsome. Ha, that’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. If I was a man I would have no problem finding someone in the looks department because there are so many better looking women than there are men, is that not true? Well, not too long ago I met someone who changed my whole perspective on “types.” I had usually gone for the preppy type…clean cut, thin, no tats, baby-faced and no facial hair. And this man I acquired feelings for was far from my type physically. But couldn’t help the strong physical attraction from the moment we met. Even though he wasn’t what anyone would consider good looking, I saw past his flaws. There was more to him then just his exterior and I think it was his spirit that made him shine. After him, my so-called “type” went to the wind. I started meeting other men and listening to my gut instinct. If there was any type of attraction, I would go on a date with him. I didn’t matter to me if he didn’t look like Hugh Jackman, in fact it didn’t matter to me what he looked liked as long there was some sort of physical attraction. If I can’t imagine myself waking up next to the person for the next fifty years, then he probably isn’t the guy for me. I think “type” is just some fantasy made up in our head. We’ve been brain washed by Hollywood and all these ridiculously good looking people we see in movies and soap operas. It taunts us into a false sense hope when the reality is that we will probably never end up with a Brad Pitt. And if we try to strive for only the Brad Pitts in the world then we are going to end up sad, lonely old women.


Tune in next week for another Edition of “Ask The Professor”. You can send your comments or questions to Edlund101@yahoo.com






On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


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