Friday, December 17, 2010

How to Use an Online Dating Profile to Catch an Unfaithful Partner

Class is now in session....

It was over five years ago that I was in my first so-called, “serious” relationship. I was just head over heels for this guy I met four years prior. And thus began a shaky relationship that lasted off and on for about four years. During the duration of our relationship, I had my suspicions about him. I knew some things were just a little off, but I continued to hang on to his every word. Our problems started when I wouldn’t put out. Don’t get the wrong idea. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but rather deep down, I didn’t fully trust him. He agreed to wait until I was ready, but his word only lasted all of ten seconds. He had no patience, so when he didn’t get what he wanted he would decide to disappear for few weeks, months and the longest was even a year. This was exactly the reason why I didn’t want to have sex wit him in the first place, because he pulled stunts like this. God only knows what he was doing behind my back all that time. It went on like this for about four years. Back then I was young and dumb and had no clue as to what to expect in the dating world. Knowing who I am now, I have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior in a relationship. And if that had happened to me in this day in age, his ass would have been grass the first time he did me wrong. Anyway, after the fourth time we broke up and got back together, he seemed to really want to work things out. But if he thought he was going to get into my pants that easily, he was dead wrong. There was no way in hell I’d give it up that quickly after all the bullshit and heartache he’d put me through. He was really going to have to man up and make me believe that he had changed.

Back in 2005, we both had MySpace accounts. One particular day at work I was once again feeling very suspicious of my then “boyfriend.” We had a conversation the night before about what I had to do to officially become his, “girlfriend.” He actually said verbatim that I had to have sex with him to be his girlfriend. I was an idiot back then. I was going to fall for it, but not until I eased my conscience. That day I came up with a plan. I made another MySpace account profile. I searched around the internet and found some pictures of a girl, who was pretty sexy. She didn’t look fake or photo shopped. This girl looked like someone he’d be interested in. Yes, I was going to find out once and for all if I could trust this guy. I played around with the profile giving it a phony bio, etc. And then of course I used this account to email my “boyfriend.” It started off as just a friendly email to him. I wrote, “Hi! Your profile caught my eye. Where are you from?” I wasn’t surprised at how quickly he emailed me back. His message wasn’t long, just a reply with, “Irvine. How are you doing?” Yeah--- pretty harmless. The next day I took it a step further. Of course I couldn’t get down and dirty the first day, otherwise he would know it was a set-up. This time I was ready to catch him with his pants down. I emailed him that afternoon from the same account asking, “I’m doing great. You’re pretty cute. Do you have a girlfriend? If not, we should meet up sometime.” The reply took longer this time, but imagine the sickness I felt in my stomach when I read, “No, I do not have a girlfriend. Yes, we should hang out.” And I continued to keep this email going with one last reply, “How about this Wednesday? Here’s my number 714-535-1105.” He got back at me with, “That sounds good to me. I’ll call you in a few days.” Oh man, I was absolutely floored. How could this asshole do something like this! Unfortunately, my impulsiveness got the best of me. I immediately texted that douche with, “I can’t believe you!” Oh and he probably got the shock of his life knowing that I knew exactly what he just pulled. And that bastard tried to save his ass by telling me that it was his friend who sent those emails. Yeah right. Real smooth there buddy, real smooth. Then he immediately retaliates by throwing the whole incident back at me. He said he did nothing wrong and he knew it was me the whole time. I was just looking to stir up shit. Do I need to say that I DTB him faster than I could say his name? This time it was over for good. I had gotten the answer I wanted and I finally knew the type of person he was for sure. It’s funny; two can play the lying game. I actually told him that I had a friend come up with the whole idea and it was her that was emailing him. And he believed it. Just a stupid, childish, ridiculous game.

By all means, I’m not saying that setting your boyfriend up is the right way to go, but when you have suspicions….sometimes you just have to act on them. A women’s intuition never fails. You just have to beware that you can only go so far with this. You only have one shot and if you’re not good at being sneaky then I wouldn’t suggest playing around with fire. It can be dangerous and you might get burned. And mentally prepare yourself for the outcome. Once you find out the truth it’s like a punch in a gut Also, know what you’re getting yourself into when you do something like this. Once the cat is out of the bag you lose trust on both sides, whether you decide to work it out or not.

I’ve only done this one time in my lifetime. I would probably never do it again due to the fact that I’ve wised up about men. When I get the feeling a guy is doing something shady I DTB as fast I can. It never fails. The scary part is--- we live in such an advanced information technology highway that it’s really not that hard to find out anything we want about anyone anymore.

Class dismissed.

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