Monday, August 30, 2010

Reasons To Avoid Overly Flirtatious Men


It's Monday and time for another edition of Edlund 101.

Class is now in session.....


Every woman will meet one once in her lifetime----that one charmer who will sweep her off her feet and make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Ah, then she discovers not long after that he is flirty and sweet with every woman he meets. And the best part is that he acts like it’s no big deal. Don’t feel so special anymore do you? You try to tell yourself that he is just a nice guy and that’s just his personality. Girl, if you keep telling yourself this--- dating Mr. Flirty could have some serious consequences.

My friend Michelle knew exactly what she was getting into with the last guy she dated. He was adored by numerous amounts of women and he was often talked about as, “so sweet and charming.” Everywhere he went, women draped themselves all over him. So when she started dating him…. shit hit the fan---when these women found out, that is. They would go parties and some of the women whom adored him happened to be there. These women would dog her, whisper behind her back, call him and make up stories about something he did at a party when he wasn’t there. Oh yes, we all know how vicious females can be when we step into their territory. Now, before they started dating regularly this man didn’t give a shit about what these other women thought. And he would make Michelle the center of attention whenever they were in groups with other people. But once they started seeing each other on a regular basis, he kind of wanted to keep it on the down low. That’s when things started to change. Reason being, he thought he “had” her. Now she would show up at parties and he would act like they were just friends. And she watched him flirt like it was no big deal. She even caught him sneaking away at parties with other women. God only knows what was going on then. But of course, she gave him the benefit of the doubt. The thing is, when they were alone together he would revert back into that sweet guy. He was always into her and never flirted with anyone when we were alone together. Unfortunately, in the end she found out he had an ego the size of Texas----sorry he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too. DTB!

And here’s another classic case. I went out with a guy who seemed to be all right by my standards. After a couple dates everything seemed to be going fine. Then I guess he got comfortable with me or something and I was about to see his true colors. One night we went to a restaurant called, The Yard House, for a quick bite and a drink. We happened to get a cute female server. She wasn’t a super model or anything, but she was definitely attractive, I can’t deny that. But apparently this guy thought she was the hottest thing in Orange County. So he decides to blatantly flirt with her and none the less, right in front of me. When she walked away after bringing out our appetizer, I observed him looking around for her like it was nothing and I was thinking, “Are you kidding me right now?” So I asked him, “So do you think she’s cute?” At that point I didn’t care what his answer was because I already made up my mind that I was never going to see this guy again. But he said to me, “No, I’m not a douche like that.” Yeah right. “Maybe you should get her number.” And he just thought that comment was hilarious. So did that stop him from continuing to scope out that server every time she came by? Nope. At the end of the night I said to him again, “Really, I think you like her. You should get her number.” And once again, he just laughed.” I knew what he was thinking. What a douche.

What it really comes down to is that the overly flirtatious men are really nothing but trouble. You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them. There is nothing wrong with your man being kind and sweet to his/your female friends, but if he’s taking it to the extreme, you need to watch for the red flags. One thing is for sure---usually these types of men turn out to be womanizers. Yeah, it may seem cute at first that your man gets along with everyone so well, but eventually it gets really old. It gets the point where you can’t recognize if he is just being friendly, or just being friendly, if you know what I mean. Avoid these types of men at all costs. It’s not worth looking over your shoulder every five minutes wondering what he’s up to next.

Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Friday, August 27, 2010

Prying Versus Privacy in Relationships


Class is now in session.....




We all know that in order to have any successful relationship we must rely on one key element: Trust. Without this, we pretty much have nothing. And lets face it, most women don’t have the trust factor whether their man does right by them or not. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of prying and spying on several occasions. The first time it happened was in my first “real” relationship when I was twenty. My boyfriend had gone to take a shower and I was sitting in his bedroom. There I was minding my own business when I saw his journal peeping out from underneath his bed. Suddenly this evil switch went off in my brain. It was the moment of truth. Would I be gutsy enough to open that leather bound notebook or pretend like I never saw it? Might I mention that I had some slight reservations about my then boyfriend? I wasn’t exactly an old pro at the dating game at that time, but I had a lot of mixed feelings about him. Only later would I learn that my intuition would never again steer me wrong. Anyway, I felt that if I read that journal maybe I would gain some insight into what was going on in his mind---or maybe I was just looking for “things.” Whatever it was I had a bunch of conflicting feelings going on inside me at that moment. My eyes went from the bathroom to the journal, from the bathroom to the journal. I only had so much time to think about my actions. Finally, I made up my mind. I’d just open it and take a quick glance. I wasn’t hurting anyone right? He’d never have to know. So I got on the floor and opened it just a crack. What made it sort of easier was that it was already bookmarked to his last entry. Again, my eyes slide from the bathroom to the journal. My pulse was racing, I began to sweat. What if he came back the moment I started reading it? Nope, impossible, I told myself. I could still hear the water running from the shower. I called my attention back to the journal. My eyes scanned the page, searching for any type of incriminating evidence; maybe a girlfriend on the side? Or another date he’d been on? But instead I got the biggest surprise, “Tomorrow is Jennifer’s birthday and I want to take her out…” I immediately stopped reading. That was good enough for me. No more worries *whew* at least for the time being. Given the chance, I probably would have read more but at the same time I knew what I was doing was completely wrong.

All of us have had those moments of insecurity where we felt the need to snoop on our significant other. I think???? I guess the good news for the snoopers is that nobody can really get away with shady shit anymore. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know we live in an age of electronic paper trails. We can track anything from the cell phone calls to the text messages. But everything has its loop holes and let’s not forget the guys whom are really good at covering their tracks. Of course, there’s always someone out there who will slip up and get caught. For me personally, I believe that when you are dating someone you should both keep your private lives to yourself. Of course this changes when you are married, uh---somewhat. But I don’t believe you have a right to your partner’s passwords, emails or facebook account. That’s a sign of someone who is extremely insecure in the relationship. The bottom line is--- if you trust the person you are with it shouldn’t be an issue to begin with. You both should be trust worthy enough to do your own thing without having to be in each others business all the time.

Years ago, there was an incident when I had some suspicions about another guy I was dating. It really only had to do with his age. He told me he was thirty, but somehow I sensed he was much older. So I used my most valuable resource---the internet. It took me about three minutes to look him up on “People Search,” and find out everything I ever wanted to know about him. Ah, the good old information super highway. And what do you know? He was nowhere near thirty. Try like forty-two. Now would you call that invading his privacy or watching my back?

At the beginning of the year I dated a guy who I had absolutely no qualms about. He was honest to a fault by telling me all about his skeletons in the closet. Ah, but just when everything was fine and dandy, my boss convinced me to do a background check on him with this super high tech program that police officers use. All he needed was his first and last name and this program would tell me EVERYTHING about him—arrests, driving records and tickets, DUIs, prior marriages, who he was living with, court appearances, bankruptcies, you name it. And of course, my boss cajoled me into doing this. Sure enough, I found out everything (no arrests, thank God.) I even got a satellite view of his house. Need I say that I totally felt like shit after I did this? Now THIS to me was an invasion of privacy.

Then of course we have the other side of the situation where we women are attempted by the crooked men we date. My friend briefly dated someone who had many of the same female “acquaintances” that she did. So there they are in the middle of dinner and he gets a gaggle of text messages from these “acquaintances." Let me just say that she had her suspicions about him from day one and this totally confirmed it. While she was sitting next to him, her eyes slid over to the screen of his cell phone. Sure enough, he’s being summoned by a pack of needy females that she recognized and he’s sitting there trying to be all slick about it. Oh hell no. She DTB (Dumped that bastard/bitch) as fast as she could.

I have a no fail method to finding out if your man is doing shit with other women behind your back. When you are out to dinner somewhere and he gets up to go to the restroom---tell him you’ll watch his cell phone for him while he’s away. Yeah, see how he reacts to that. He’ll either get all defensive about it and say no it’s okay, he’s got this (warning sign number one) or he’ll leave the cell phone with you and lock it (warning sign number two). If he has nothing to hide, he’ll won’t even think twice about leaving the phone. He’ll just walk away and do what he’s got to do. It also kind of lets you in on how much he trusts you as well.

Finally, let’s not forget about all the women whom are paranoid as hell after being cheated on. It’s extremely hard for these types of women not to scrutinize every waking detail when they are with their man. And I really feel for bad them, I do. But sometimes you just have to let go and have faith. I believe that the women who’ve been cheated on develop some sort of sixth sense. If they sense that their man is doing something seedy behind their back, his probably is. The only thing they can do is try to ease their conscious by getting to the bottom of their suspicions. Once a woman has been cheated on, it’s always in the back of their mind, no matter what. Kind of like having a nasty scare that you can’t get rid of for the rest of your life.

When you get down to it, everyone is entitled to their privacy. As hard as it may be we need to respect our partners and set some boundaries. If you’re someone who can’t learn to accept this then it’s time for you to reconsider your relationship at hand. But I can tell you right now, when I get into a relationship with a man, he doesn’t get away with shit with me. And I don’t have to pry to know what’s going on….just call it my sixth sense.

Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Monday, August 23, 2010

Welcome to Edlund 101...I am your professor.


Class is now in session.

Welcome to first blog entry of Edlund 101. First I want to start off by telling you why I created this blog. Call me crazy, but for years I was a fan of Tom Leykis on 97.1 FM. Sadly, the whole radio station was axed in February 2009---the highlight of my afternoon-- my form of entertainment….. stolen right from under me. Each day, I drove an hour home and this was my outlet to get me to stop thinking about the nasty freeway traffic. But let’s be clear on something. In no way do I follow the “Tom Leykis rules” of dating. As I said, he was purely entertainment and I got a kick out of every dumb ass caller he brought on the air. Sometimes you need a good laugh when you are sitting in traffic that’s comparable to a parking lot. Although, I have to admit that some of the things he said about women and men are DEAD ON. You see, Tom teaches men how to get tail for less money or no money at all, so in other words…he teaches men how to treat women like crap. I don’t believe in that, but everyone is entitled to free speech. I really don’t take anything he says to heart like most women do, especially the ones who get all bent out of shape. But some good has come to me by listening to Tom give unwarranted and shady advice to men. I’ve managed to keep myself out of trouble with guys that could potentially cause disaster in my life. Believe it or not, I’ve actually dated a few guys that have tried to pull a Leykis 101 on me. Now I’ve decided to follow his foot-steps and create my own 101 blog, but from a woman’s perspective. In this blog I will reveal the “signs” that will clue you in on if a man is merely interested in getting in your pants or wants an actual relationship. You will learn the shady behaviors you should look for on a first date. The checklist you should have and if he passes your test with flying colors what you should expect on the second date. How not to be clingy and needy (this is major reason why women see their relationships end so fast.) Proper etiquette every man should have when he is dating you and how long you should wait until you give it up. I do not condone the behavior of women giving it up on the first date. You break this rule…you pretty much f*ck up any potential future with your so-called “boyfriend.” A man needs to earn it. Plain and simple.

Give me ten minutes in a room with someone I’ve never met and I can read them like a book, especially men. I’m no expert but when it comes to the male mind, I’m pretty close to knowing it inside and out. I’m familiar with all the games that they play and I am here to tell you how to avoid all the bullshit and find someone who is worthy. If you are looking for a good time and no serious relationship, that’s fine—to each their own. But if you are looking for something long term then following some simple rules might help you out. I may be single, but I do date and I’ve managed to keep myself from being emotionally invested. I look for the “red flags” before I decide to let a man come into my life.

About your professor: I may only be twenty-eight years old, but I have been through hell and back with men. I had my first so-called “boyfriend” when I was eleven-years-old. So yes, I started out young. He is one of the best people I ever met and I’m still in touch with him today. My next boyfriend was at 14…then at 16….and my first “real” boyfriend was at 20. Then after that disastrous relationship, I took a break. When we broke up, I knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship the next time around. Well, it’s been five years since then and I still haven’t found it. I may be choosy but my expectations are not as high as you might think, really they aren’t. It’s not always about money or physical appearance. It’s about what’s going on in someone’s brain. I steer clear from men that have f*cked up family lives that have left them mentally unstable and or any type of major baggage that will make me regret getting involved with them down the road. I once had a date tell me that his mom annoyed him and that there were times that he’d wished he could hit her. Needless to say, after that date I was out the doo.

Living in Southern California you would think that there would be a ton of options. Sure there are, but most of the men in the Orange County population have more baggage than an airport and are seriously f*cked up in the head. Either the rich guys are socially inept or the nice guys turn out to be sissy la las. And I am not into “bad boys.” Can’t there ever be a happy medium? First of all, I’m not the type of woman to have a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend. I have enough bullshit going on in my life…I don’t need to add another drama factor with a guy who isn’t right for me just so I can feel loved and secure. You women got it all wrong thinking that you have to have a man to be happy. Oh hell no, it does not work that way. That’s the first thing you need to get out of your pretty little heads. Let me just say this…women need to know that this day in age you CANNOT depend on a man for anything; financially, emotionally…etc. I don’t care if you marry the richest guy on the planet. Nothing is set stone and he could leave you without a moments notice. And guess what? You are f*cked. So women the next time you choose a man I advise you to choose wisely. This blog is the first step to acting like a lady but thinking like man. Once you get inside the male brain, life will never be the same. And sorry guys...I'm about to give away all your secrets.

Class Dismissed.



On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble: