Friday, January 7, 2011

Operation....FAIL!





Class is now in session....

A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry about why dating websites are a waste of time. And many of you had quite a few opinions on this subject. Well, after I wrote that entry I got to thinking and I came up with an idea. What better way to prove my point about how bad these dating websites are then to sign up on one of them myself. So what’s so big about that idea you ask? Well, I thought it would be interesting to conduct a little experiment. The only reason I would sign up on a dating website, as myself of course, would be to do it for purely experimental purposes. This means I would find a guy that was semi-decent, make contact, go on a date with him and then write about the experience. Of course I have one rule: to only go on a date with each guy once. Meaning---when the date ends, good or bad, it’s over and we never see each other again. Of course none of these guys would know they are my experimental game and I could care less about not telling them. Anyway, last Thursday I signed up on Match.com and Plentyoffish.com. I immediately had to delete my profile from Plentyoffish.com. That website just wasn’t cutting it; it was like diving into a sea of losers, literally. As for Match.com, there was not one single decent looking guy who emailed me at the beginning. Then finally maybe after the first three days, I got a few bites from guys that maybe had some potential. I took the chance and sent them my number, asking them to text me. I wasn’t going to procrastinate with idle chit-chat, shooting the shit emails back and forth, I just wanted to get the job done. Anyway, about three of them did text me, but nothing ever panned out. After like an hour of mindless texting, they all sort of disappeared. It was back to the drawing board. Once again, all the fugly losers started emailing me. And then I got all excited when this really attractive guy emailed me, finally! I open the email and read, “I’m looking for some casual sex and someone to spoil…. is that you?”  I can’t tell you that I was actually that appalled. Nothing surprises me anymore. Well, on Monday another good looking guy emails me. I was expecting the same result as before, but this guy turned out genuine. But unfortunately, the gig with Match.com was up. I was going to delete my profile. I still can’t believe with all the hundreds of men out there, I could only find one decent looking guy. What a joke. Anyway, I emailed Tom back and sent him my number. Tom texted me on Monday night and I got back to him on Tuesday morning. We pretty much texted back and forth all day. He seemed like a pretty down to earth type of guy, I didn’t really see any red flags. Tom kept his texting “appropriate,” which was a good sign. On Wednesday we texted all day and things still seemed like they were flowing. I just have to say that not once during this time period did we ever talk on the phone. This was purely communication by text message. On this same day, he asked me if I wanted to get together on Thursday. We decided to meet at a sushi restaurant. Let me just start off by saying that when I found out this guy was Gemini, I knew nothing was going to come out of it. My sign and his sign are not compatible on any level and I’ve had some really horrible experiences with Gemini men in the past. But what the hell, huh? I was going into this thing with no expectations and looking at it as a research project, like I said I was going to do from the very beginning. Here’s the quick down low on this guy:  thirty-three, just moved here from New Jersey, college educated, parents are still together, has a good job, and lives by himself. Seems like a good catch right? Again, I still wondered why someone who was attractive as he was would be on a dating site. I asked him this same question and he said it was just because he doesn’t really know anyone in the area yet. Okay, sure. I appreciate that answer. So yes, I did meet up with this guy last night. He was attractive; I’ll give him that, surely nothing wrong in the looks department. Ah, but then within the first ten minutes of meeting his guy, he throws out the f-bomb. Edlund101 followers know---this a deal breaker. The funny thing is that when this guy was texting me within those two days, he kept telling me what a gentleman he was and how he’s not like other guys. Oh really? Do gentlemen throw the f-bomb at women on the first date? But that wasn’t the only time he did it, this guy threw the f-bomb at me at least four times. Also, when I brought up that my dad had recently passed away there was no sensitivity what so ever. He didn’t really seem to care and never even bothered to ask how my dad passed away. He wanted to continue talking about more important things…like himself. Yeah, so I put off the f-bomb incident for the time being. What else could I do? He paid for dinner and so forth. No problem there. But it was in the middle of eating sushi that Tom asked me, “So you are a missionary type of girl?” I thought he was asking if I was religious or if I was a church goer. I asked, “What do you mean?” and he responded, “What positions do you like to use in bed?” WTF!!!!!! Are you serious!!!! I’ve known this guy, what? All of one hour and he’s asking me what sex positions I like? Edlund 101 immediate deal breaker rule: talking about sex on the first date. I looked at him rather shocked and said, “I’m not going tell you that.” Oh yeah. He got put off by my answer. That was the moment he lost interest and the date pretty went down the shitter. Hey, it’s okay. I was totally expecting this. I was just waiting for him to do something to break the rules, and he did it TWICE. Yeah a real gentlemen--- asking me about sex on the first date. Real classy. This just proves my theory about dating sites. The good looking guys on these things are only looking for sex. Needless to say, I’m completely done with Match.com. I’ve used Match before in the past and this was the last time I’ll ever sign up on their site again. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to continue on with this experiment. I was thinking about trying a different pay dating website like E-harmony or something. I’ll have to think about it. Otherwise, you’ll know when I post another victim.

One sad thing about all this--- this would have been the kind of story my dad would have gotten a real kick out of. I mean it was so bad that it was actually comical. The moment I walked out the door that night, I thought about telling my dad, and then I remembered that I don’t have that luxury anymore. My dad was always fascinated and shocked by my stories about the losers I came in contact with. It’s moments like these that I miss him terribly. In my head I can almost hear what he would have said on the phone and I can hear his laugh. I hope that never fades.


Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Will Facebook Steal Online Dating Sites?


This just in from Time News...
Jennifer Edlund's website

 

 

 

Will Facebook Steal Online Dating Sites?


Online dating is a big, fat tassled deal. We know this not just because Barry Diller has bought into it (his IAC owns Match.com), but because all the most killer apps on the Internet have been about finding things, whether it's old snowshoes on eBay, the name of a good locksmith on Google or your exact brand of pornography on those weird sites you stumble across when you  mistype a search term. Why shouldn't finding a date or a mate be a few keystrokes away?
Except, of course it's not that simple. Which is why there's been a flurry of recent interest in Facebook — the 800-lb. gorilla of finding people — and not just from Goldman Sachs.
Dating websites have enormous potential: theoretically, any single person can save him or herself a lot of trouble and odious evenings at the wrong end of the bar, by doing a little legwork online first — weeding out those potential dates whose attributes they could not tolerate and singling out those who look more sympatico. Their pool of candidates is huge, much greater than anybody could ever hope to meet face to face. And several of the sites, like eHarmony.com and Chemistry.com, tout patented questionnaires that help do the winnowing for you. Match.com claims that 17% of couples who married last year met through the Internet. There's some neutral research backing up their numbers. According to a Stanford University/City College of New York study released in August, the Internet was the third most popular place to meet a new love interest in 2009. About 22% of all the 3,000-odd heterosexual couples in the longitudinal How Couples Meet and Stay Together Survey who met in 2009 did so through the Web. Only a slightly higher number met in bars, and the biggest proportion met through friends.
The complaints about dating websites, however, are persistent, and written about at length in this week's Economist. Basically, there are too many people telling whoppers about themselves, too many profiles of people who don't exist and, you know, the occasional weapons-grade creep. Plus, as Dan Ariely has so eloquently explained, it's still an open question as to whether people can actually figure out what they want online, since we're a little more complicated than old snowshoes.
That's where Facebook comes in. While it doesn't have an official dating app, it certainly has a bunch of ways to meet people. Men often prefer to to do their date-fishing on Facebook because women are more open to approaches from guys who know somebody they know, even though "friend" has a very elastic meaning in the world of the big blue lower case F. People are less likely to lie, or put up a horribly inaccurate photograph on their Facebook profiles, because their friends will call them out. Of course, not everybody wants their dating activity publicized, so the more successful apps operate beneath the public wall of Facebook. People aren't exactly waiting for Facebook to create its own dating arm. Snap Interactive Inc., the makers of Are You Interested, a dating app that has a Facebook component, has seen its stock have a wild ride after Bloomberg ran an admiring profile noting that it was adding more users per day than Match.com. Its share price has grown more than sixfold since last month, although concerns about the app's real value remain. Zoosk, another dating site, has a Facebook utility as well. Others cannot be far behind.
The Stanford study cited above notes that a quarter of the people who met online already had some kind of social connection. Facebook would seem to present a way of overcoming many of the dating sites' drawbacks — including the fact that a lot of them charge a fee — while offering almost as many benefits. (Although if you're into shy introverts terrified of social networking, you might find slim pickings.) Not that the dating websites are exactly hurting. They still have revenues in the hundreds of millions and in 2010 was a banner year for Match.com, the CEO of IAC told Bloomberg.
But would people prefer to trawl in unknown waters or lakes where they had a better sense of the quality and type of fish? The angling metaphor breaks down eventually, because most daters are really only looking for that one special sea bass. A good way to find him, might be to see if any of your friends know him. If a Facebook app of some kind doesn't replace dating sites, it could certainly offer a reasonable, cheap alternative, always a scary specter for others working the same customer base.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble: