Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Relationships 101: Real Life vs. Fairy Tales

This just in.....
Jennifer Edlund's website



Do you really know the difference between real life relationships and fairy tale expectations?


relationships_101_part_5_inside.jpgMany good relationships sometimes go bad because one or both partners expect too much from each other, and sometimes the expectations are actually unrealistic.

Here are some of the most common unproductive beliefs people sometimes have about love and marriage - and the mindsets you can adopt now to create your own real happily ever afters.


1.  A HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND WILL MAKE ME HAPPY.

Although most women may say that they don't need a romantic relationship, the truth is that so many singles secretly feel lonely and incomplete when they're not part of a couple. Now, loneliness is not a bad thing; we all feel lonely sometimes. But believing that a partner or other material things can make up for the loneliness is dangerous.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship doesn't make you happy, you make yourself happy, and happy people make happier relationship.

Relationships aren't magical things that take your problems away, they simply magnify who you already are. So the next time you see a happy couple and wonder why they have it so easy and you don’t, remember that any happy relationship starts with a decision to become happy first.


2.  RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASILY REPLACED.

Relationships take work. They evolve and have the power to change you and your partner. And as these changes take place, they also affect your relationship.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: Diane Sollee, founder and director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education says, "A marriage isn't supposed to make you happy and satisfied; it's your job to make your marriage happy and satisfying."

A good relationship isn't something you talk about or dream about; it's something you have to work for. Most of the time you have to swallow your pride, try out techniques you’ve learned, initiate closeness, improve your communication, and be more loving.

(Important Note: Please bear in mind that we're not talking about dysfunctional or abusive relationships here. We're talking about the majority of marriages and relationships where love seems to get overshadowed by the stresses of daily life.)


3. ONCE THE LOVE IS GONE, THERE’S NO HOPE OF GETTING IT BACK

In the case of couples who are have relationship problems, the love never really disappears. Usually it just gets buried under layers of resentment, unmet and unexpressed expectations, and too much pride to do anything about it.

Think about it this way: your husband tells you his ex-girlfriend--the one he almost married--will be working with him closely every day as a partner from now on. You know that they had a really bad break up and haven't heard from each other in years, but now they think they can work civilly together. Are you comfortable with this arrangement?

Of course you’re not. Because you know that if your husband loved her enough to almost marry her, then it's very likely that those feelings will be reignited when they start working together. If love between exes can be rekindled, then it makes sense that the same thing can happen with someone you commit your whole life to Remember, the love is still there, all you have to do is work together and find it.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship will either evolve or stagnate.

Couples don’t grow apart just because. The sad fact is that they allowed themselves to grow apart, thinking that the relationship can take care of itself. We all know that we need to invest time and effort into everything else that's worthwhile in life--education, career, and business--the same thing applies (and goes double) for a lifelong relationship.

Because isn't a love that lasts one of the most worthwhile things of all?





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Relationships 101: Men and Women--Different But Complementary


Jennifer Edlund's website

This news just in....

Even when you were young and had no interest in the opposite sex, you already knew this truth: girls and boys are different, and there’s just no changing that. Even as women stake their claim in the world and men become more in touch with their feelings, there are things that each side will never fully understand about the other.

Still, all this does not change the diversity between men and women. And if you’re trying to grow a relationship that lasts, then it’s time you learned more about how to use these differences to your advantage. Here are 3 ways you can start now:


1. STOP THE GENDER BASHING.


It’s not about being politically correct. Instead, it’s about being completely honest with yourself. If you hate men so much, why do still want to have a relationship with one?

Making any kind of disparaging remarks or sweeping negative generalizations about males (that they can’t commit, they need to constantly be looked after, they’re all mama’s boys, etc.), even when you’re just with your girl friends does real damage to your current and future relationships.

When you say these things often enough, you subconsciously start to believe them. And once you believe them, you’ll always be looking for evidence to support them--even when you’re already in a relationship with a good man. You could start picking apart everything he does and might start to think that he’s guilty until proven otherwise. And no self-respecting person can last in a relationship when he’s made to feel bad about being who he is.

Grow a Better Relationship: Learn to appreciate and celebrate your man for who he is. Realize that he deals with his emotions differently. While you may believe that the best way to deal with work frustrations is to talk it out, he may prefer to keep quiet or decompress by sweating it out on the basketball court. Accept that your relationship is not a competition, so stop making him feel inferior by insisting that the way you do things is “much better.”



2. DON’T TURN HIM INTO THE MALE VERSION OF YOU.

If you want the kind of relationship where attraction and sexual excitement will always be present, you have to remember that the key to both factors lie in your natural differences.A Kinsey Institute study suggests that women respond to more masculine men and men with a take-charge vibe are usually seen to be more physically attractive to the opposite sex.

These are the masculine and feminine polarities at work. These “opposites” create the tension that fuels attraction. In relationships where you try to become too similar, you end up being polite and efficient roommates, wondering years later where the passion had gone.

But in relationships where you allow your man to be masculine, and you let your natural feminine side take over at least once in a while, you will find that although the excitement and passion won’t always at maximum level, it will always be there.

Grow a Better Relationship: Your guy is not an arts and crafts project, so stop trying to mold him into your image of what the perfect boyfriend or husband should be. He might often be unable to take the place of your best girl friend who will know exactly what to say when you ask his opinion about what you’re wearing. What he can be is the person who will know exactly what not to say and a strong and steady source of strength during really tough times.



3. KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER NEEDS FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

No one wants to go through life alone, unloved, and unappreciated. That’s the reason why we work so hard to build supportive, loving relationships. It’s easy to pinpoint what makes you happy: you want to feel loved, be his priority, know that, at any given moment, there is one guy who thinks “you’re amazing just the way you are.” And it’s reasonable to think that your guy wants the same thing. But it’s not always easy to find out what will make your partner happy—or at least how to convert those hazy “wants” into “haves.” The key to achieving all of that is respect. If you value your partner, then his feelings should be just as important as your own, and his goals should be just as significant as yours.

Grow a Better Relationship: Recognize the qualities in your man that make you proud to be his partner and let him know about these things. In turn, be aware of the traits that he says make you the perfect girl. Let go of your insecurities when you’re with him, and try not to be too critical of his flaws. Be appreciative and supportive of each other, and make sure that you’re honest and open at all times.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Friday, January 7, 2011

Operation....FAIL!





Class is now in session....

A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry about why dating websites are a waste of time. And many of you had quite a few opinions on this subject. Well, after I wrote that entry I got to thinking and I came up with an idea. What better way to prove my point about how bad these dating websites are then to sign up on one of them myself. So what’s so big about that idea you ask? Well, I thought it would be interesting to conduct a little experiment. The only reason I would sign up on a dating website, as myself of course, would be to do it for purely experimental purposes. This means I would find a guy that was semi-decent, make contact, go on a date with him and then write about the experience. Of course I have one rule: to only go on a date with each guy once. Meaning---when the date ends, good or bad, it’s over and we never see each other again. Of course none of these guys would know they are my experimental game and I could care less about not telling them. Anyway, last Thursday I signed up on Match.com and Plentyoffish.com. I immediately had to delete my profile from Plentyoffish.com. That website just wasn’t cutting it; it was like diving into a sea of losers, literally. As for Match.com, there was not one single decent looking guy who emailed me at the beginning. Then finally maybe after the first three days, I got a few bites from guys that maybe had some potential. I took the chance and sent them my number, asking them to text me. I wasn’t going to procrastinate with idle chit-chat, shooting the shit emails back and forth, I just wanted to get the job done. Anyway, about three of them did text me, but nothing ever panned out. After like an hour of mindless texting, they all sort of disappeared. It was back to the drawing board. Once again, all the fugly losers started emailing me. And then I got all excited when this really attractive guy emailed me, finally! I open the email and read, “I’m looking for some casual sex and someone to spoil…. is that you?”  I can’t tell you that I was actually that appalled. Nothing surprises me anymore. Well, on Monday another good looking guy emails me. I was expecting the same result as before, but this guy turned out genuine. But unfortunately, the gig with Match.com was up. I was going to delete my profile. I still can’t believe with all the hundreds of men out there, I could only find one decent looking guy. What a joke. Anyway, I emailed Tom back and sent him my number. Tom texted me on Monday night and I got back to him on Tuesday morning. We pretty much texted back and forth all day. He seemed like a pretty down to earth type of guy, I didn’t really see any red flags. Tom kept his texting “appropriate,” which was a good sign. On Wednesday we texted all day and things still seemed like they were flowing. I just have to say that not once during this time period did we ever talk on the phone. This was purely communication by text message. On this same day, he asked me if I wanted to get together on Thursday. We decided to meet at a sushi restaurant. Let me just start off by saying that when I found out this guy was Gemini, I knew nothing was going to come out of it. My sign and his sign are not compatible on any level and I’ve had some really horrible experiences with Gemini men in the past. But what the hell, huh? I was going into this thing with no expectations and looking at it as a research project, like I said I was going to do from the very beginning. Here’s the quick down low on this guy:  thirty-three, just moved here from New Jersey, college educated, parents are still together, has a good job, and lives by himself. Seems like a good catch right? Again, I still wondered why someone who was attractive as he was would be on a dating site. I asked him this same question and he said it was just because he doesn’t really know anyone in the area yet. Okay, sure. I appreciate that answer. So yes, I did meet up with this guy last night. He was attractive; I’ll give him that, surely nothing wrong in the looks department. Ah, but then within the first ten minutes of meeting his guy, he throws out the f-bomb. Edlund101 followers know---this a deal breaker. The funny thing is that when this guy was texting me within those two days, he kept telling me what a gentleman he was and how he’s not like other guys. Oh really? Do gentlemen throw the f-bomb at women on the first date? But that wasn’t the only time he did it, this guy threw the f-bomb at me at least four times. Also, when I brought up that my dad had recently passed away there was no sensitivity what so ever. He didn’t really seem to care and never even bothered to ask how my dad passed away. He wanted to continue talking about more important things…like himself. Yeah, so I put off the f-bomb incident for the time being. What else could I do? He paid for dinner and so forth. No problem there. But it was in the middle of eating sushi that Tom asked me, “So you are a missionary type of girl?” I thought he was asking if I was religious or if I was a church goer. I asked, “What do you mean?” and he responded, “What positions do you like to use in bed?” WTF!!!!!! Are you serious!!!! I’ve known this guy, what? All of one hour and he’s asking me what sex positions I like? Edlund 101 immediate deal breaker rule: talking about sex on the first date. I looked at him rather shocked and said, “I’m not going tell you that.” Oh yeah. He got put off by my answer. That was the moment he lost interest and the date pretty went down the shitter. Hey, it’s okay. I was totally expecting this. I was just waiting for him to do something to break the rules, and he did it TWICE. Yeah a real gentlemen--- asking me about sex on the first date. Real classy. This just proves my theory about dating sites. The good looking guys on these things are only looking for sex. Needless to say, I’m completely done with Match.com. I’ve used Match before in the past and this was the last time I’ll ever sign up on their site again. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to continue on with this experiment. I was thinking about trying a different pay dating website like E-harmony or something. I’ll have to think about it. Otherwise, you’ll know when I post another victim.

One sad thing about all this--- this would have been the kind of story my dad would have gotten a real kick out of. I mean it was so bad that it was actually comical. The moment I walked out the door that night, I thought about telling my dad, and then I remembered that I don’t have that luxury anymore. My dad was always fascinated and shocked by my stories about the losers I came in contact with. It’s moments like these that I miss him terribly. In my head I can almost hear what he would have said on the phone and I can hear his laugh. I hope that never fades.


Class dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Will Facebook Steal Online Dating Sites?


This just in from Time News...
Jennifer Edlund's website

 

 

 

Will Facebook Steal Online Dating Sites?


Online dating is a big, fat tassled deal. We know this not just because Barry Diller has bought into it (his IAC owns Match.com), but because all the most killer apps on the Internet have been about finding things, whether it's old snowshoes on eBay, the name of a good locksmith on Google or your exact brand of pornography on those weird sites you stumble across when you  mistype a search term. Why shouldn't finding a date or a mate be a few keystrokes away?
Except, of course it's not that simple. Which is why there's been a flurry of recent interest in Facebook — the 800-lb. gorilla of finding people — and not just from Goldman Sachs.
Dating websites have enormous potential: theoretically, any single person can save him or herself a lot of trouble and odious evenings at the wrong end of the bar, by doing a little legwork online first — weeding out those potential dates whose attributes they could not tolerate and singling out those who look more sympatico. Their pool of candidates is huge, much greater than anybody could ever hope to meet face to face. And several of the sites, like eHarmony.com and Chemistry.com, tout patented questionnaires that help do the winnowing for you. Match.com claims that 17% of couples who married last year met through the Internet. There's some neutral research backing up their numbers. According to a Stanford University/City College of New York study released in August, the Internet was the third most popular place to meet a new love interest in 2009. About 22% of all the 3,000-odd heterosexual couples in the longitudinal How Couples Meet and Stay Together Survey who met in 2009 did so through the Web. Only a slightly higher number met in bars, and the biggest proportion met through friends.
The complaints about dating websites, however, are persistent, and written about at length in this week's Economist. Basically, there are too many people telling whoppers about themselves, too many profiles of people who don't exist and, you know, the occasional weapons-grade creep. Plus, as Dan Ariely has so eloquently explained, it's still an open question as to whether people can actually figure out what they want online, since we're a little more complicated than old snowshoes.
That's where Facebook comes in. While it doesn't have an official dating app, it certainly has a bunch of ways to meet people. Men often prefer to to do their date-fishing on Facebook because women are more open to approaches from guys who know somebody they know, even though "friend" has a very elastic meaning in the world of the big blue lower case F. People are less likely to lie, or put up a horribly inaccurate photograph on their Facebook profiles, because their friends will call them out. Of course, not everybody wants their dating activity publicized, so the more successful apps operate beneath the public wall of Facebook. People aren't exactly waiting for Facebook to create its own dating arm. Snap Interactive Inc., the makers of Are You Interested, a dating app that has a Facebook component, has seen its stock have a wild ride after Bloomberg ran an admiring profile noting that it was adding more users per day than Match.com. Its share price has grown more than sixfold since last month, although concerns about the app's real value remain. Zoosk, another dating site, has a Facebook utility as well. Others cannot be far behind.
The Stanford study cited above notes that a quarter of the people who met online already had some kind of social connection. Facebook would seem to present a way of overcoming many of the dating sites' drawbacks — including the fact that a lot of them charge a fee — while offering almost as many benefits. (Although if you're into shy introverts terrified of social networking, you might find slim pickings.) Not that the dating websites are exactly hurting. They still have revenues in the hundreds of millions and in 2010 was a banner year for Match.com, the CEO of IAC told Bloomberg.
But would people prefer to trawl in unknown waters or lakes where they had a better sense of the quality and type of fish? The angling metaphor breaks down eventually, because most daters are really only looking for that one special sea bass. A good way to find him, might be to see if any of your friends know him. If a Facebook app of some kind doesn't replace dating sites, it could certainly offer a reasonable, cheap alternative, always a scary specter for others working the same customer base.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 




 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Delaying Sex = Better Relationships?

Jennifer Edlund's website

This just in from Fox News.....

Delaying Sex = Better Relationships?

Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds.
Couples who had sex the earliest — such as after the first date or within the first month of dating — had the worst relationship outcomes.
"What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run," study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, told LiveScience.
Busby and his colleagues published their work Dec. 28 in the Journal of Family Psychology.

The intricate nature of sex
Past research on sex and its link to relationship quality has revealed two different paradigms. In one, sex is considered essential to a developing relationship since it allows partners to assess their sexual compatibility. Following this line of thinking, couples who marry before testing out their sexual chemistry are at risk of marital distress and failure later on.
The opposing view posits couples who delay or abstain from sexual intimacy during the early part of their relationships allow communication and other social processes to become the foundation of their attraction to each other. Essentially, early sex could be detrimental to a relationship, skewing it away from communication, commitment and the ability to handle adversity, this thinking suggests.
And past studies have shown the sex-relationship link is a complex one. For instance, a 2004 study of nearly 300 college students in dating relationships showed that when couples were highly committed, sex was more likely to be seen as a positive turning point in the relationship, increasing understanding, commitment, trust and a sense of security. However, when commitment and emotional expressions were low, the initiation of sex was significantly more likely seen as a negative event, evoking regret, uncertainty, discomfort, and prompting apologies.
Sex comes early nowadays
In the new study, Busby and his colleagues looked specifically at timing of sexual relations. They recruited 2,035 heterosexual individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages. Participants reported when they first had sexual relations with their current spouse; they also answered communication questions, which evaluated how well they could express empathy and understanding toward their partners, how well they could send clear messages to their partners, and other questions.Other items on the questionnaire focused on relationship satisfaction and stability, with the latter gauged by three questions: how often they thought their relationship was in trouble; how often they thought of ending the relationship; and how often they had broken up and gotten back together.

Individuals were categorized as either having:
• Early sex (before dating or less than one month after they started dating).
• Late sex (between one month and two years of dating).
• And those who waited until after they married.
Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.
Compared with those in the early sex group, those who waited until marriage:
• Rated relationship stability as 22 percent higher
• Rated relationship satisfaction as 20 percent higher
• Rated sexual quality as 15 percent better
• Rated communication as 12 percent better
"Curiously, almost 40 percent of couples are essentially sexual within the first or second time they go out, but we suspect that if you asked these same couples at this early stage of their relationship – 'Do you trust this person to watch your pet for a weekend many could not answer this in the affirmative' – meaning they are more comfortable letting people into their bodies than they are with them watching their cat," Busby said.
He added that those couples who wait to be sexual have time to figure out how trustworthy their partner is, how well they communicate, and whether they share the same values in life "before the powerful sexual bonding short-circuits their decision-making abilities."
Right now, the team is repeating the study on a larger sample in a longitudinal design – in which participants are followed over time. "We are particularly curious about people who report wanting to wait to be sexual but then they don't follow through on their beliefs, this may be a unique group with unique outcomes," Busby said.






On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Man charged with felony for reading his wife's e-mail to track an affair

Jennifer Edlund's website

What do you think about this?


A Michigan man faces up to 5 years in prison for reading his wife's e-mail to find out if she was having an affair, the Detroit Free Press reports.


The newspaper says Leon Walker, 33, of Rochester Hills, has been charged with a felony after reading Clara Walker's GMail account on a laptop the now-divorced couple shared. He goes to trial in February.
Oakland County prosecutors used a state statute typically used to prosecute crimes like identity theft or stealing trade secrets, the newspaper says.


Leon, Clara Walker's third husband, found out in an e-mail that she was having an affair with her second husband, who was once arrested for beating her in front of her small son. Leon Walker showed the e-mail to that son's father, Clara's first husband, who filed an emergency motion to obtain custody.
"I was doing what I had to do," Leon Walker, a computer technician, tells the Free Press. "We're talking about putting a child in danger."
Oakland County prosecutor Jessica Cooper, in a voice mail to the newspaper, calls Walker a skilled "hacker" who used his wife's e-mail "in a contentious way."
In preliminary testimony, Clara testified that while Leon had bought her that laptop, it was hers alone and that she kept the password a secret.
Leon Walker says he routinely used the computer and that she kept all of her passwords in a small book next to it. "It was a family computer," he says. "I did work on it all the time."

Should it be illegal to read spouse's e-mail?

 




On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

 



 

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Ask the Professor

Jennifer Edlund's website


It's Sunday and time for another edition of Edlund 101


Can you attempt my class.....



Hi Professor. I was wondering when I should I call a woman back after the first date? - Tim, Houston Texas
I can honestly tell you that I despise this game. This “wait three days to call her,” rule is bullshit. Listen, if she gains your interest call her the next day. It's not going to make you look desperate. Shit or get off the pot is what I like to say. We want to know you're interested, and frankly making us wait around for you drives us nuts. And hey, depending on the type of woman---this could be a deal breaker.

Dear Edlund 101: I have a serious problem. My boyfriend is verbally abusive and the things he says make me feel small, insecure and unworthy... what should I do? – Amanda Long, Colorado
Edlund 101 followers do not date men who are abusive in any which way or form. At any given sign of this behavior we are out. I suggest you DTB immediately. He is not going to get any better and odds are, he is just going to get worse. Get out before you end up in some serious trouble. I don’t get care how much you love him…..run bitch, run for your life.

I’m curious. When should a couple announce they are dating? – Jamie K- San Diego, CA
What’s the big deal about letting people know you are dating someone? Unless the person you decide to date is going to reek havoc in your personal life, then it shouldn't be some big secret. I guess could say that announcing that this person is your boyfriend/girlfriend is a more serious question. And second, you are not officially a couple when you are “dating”….unless you are dating exclusively. So it doesn’t matter, unless you just don’t want people to know.

A guy I've been seeing has tons of porno saved on his computer. Is this unusual? –Anonymous
Men will be men. You can’t stop them from looking at naked pictures of women…especially with the Internet at their fingertips. It's in their DNA, although like everything else in life, it should be done in moderation. And you might want to take in consideration what type of porn he is looking at. Is it Playboy or hardcore. If it's hardcore then I would be somewhat concerned about the guys mental state. Also, if you notice that he has become obsessed with his pornography and it’s taken over his life and your relationship---you have a serious problem on your hands. However, if it’s every once in a while, it’s no big deal in my opinion.

Edlund101: What age do you think is ideal for a girl to get married and why do you believe so? Brian Foster, Wyoming
I've always believed that no one should get married before the age of 25. I know a great number of people whom have gotten married at 18, 20, 21, 22...and most of these people have only been in one serious relationship their whole life. Actually, what does someone at the age of 18 know about a serious relationship? They are still kids themselves. Then you have to factor in that possibly when someone as young as 18 or 21 gets older and wises up that they will begin to see the light. He/she finally realizes that they've only been with one person their entire young life. And suddenly they end up with feelings of regret----regretting that they never had the chance to experience life and dating. He/she also might begin to wonder what it would be like to be with someone else That's when the trouble starts. And I know someone in that exact situation. I'm not saying everyone is going to end up this way, but statistics show that in this day in age when someone marries under the age of 25, it usually ends up in divorce. Just say'in.


Class is now dismissed.





On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?


Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:




Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble: