Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Relationships 101: Real Life vs. Fairy Tales

This just in.....
Jennifer Edlund's website

Do you really know the difference between real life relationships and fairy tale expectations?

relationships_101_part_5_inside.jpgMany good relationships sometimes go bad because one or both partners expect too much from each other, and sometimes the expectations are actually unrealistic.

Here are some of the most common unproductive beliefs people sometimes have about love and marriage - and the mindsets you can adopt now to create your own real happily ever afters.


Although most women may say that they don't need a romantic relationship, the truth is that so many singles secretly feel lonely and incomplete when they're not part of a couple. Now, loneliness is not a bad thing; we all feel lonely sometimes. But believing that a partner or other material things can make up for the loneliness is dangerous.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship doesn't make you happy, you make yourself happy, and happy people make happier relationship.

Relationships aren't magical things that take your problems away, they simply magnify who you already are. So the next time you see a happy couple and wonder why they have it so easy and you don’t, remember that any happy relationship starts with a decision to become happy first.


Relationships take work. They evolve and have the power to change you and your partner. And as these changes take place, they also affect your relationship.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: Diane Sollee, founder and director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education says, "A marriage isn't supposed to make you happy and satisfied; it's your job to make your marriage happy and satisfying."

A good relationship isn't something you talk about or dream about; it's something you have to work for. Most of the time you have to swallow your pride, try out techniques you’ve learned, initiate closeness, improve your communication, and be more loving.

(Important Note: Please bear in mind that we're not talking about dysfunctional or abusive relationships here. We're talking about the majority of marriages and relationships where love seems to get overshadowed by the stresses of daily life.)


In the case of couples who are have relationship problems, the love never really disappears. Usually it just gets buried under layers of resentment, unmet and unexpressed expectations, and too much pride to do anything about it.

Think about it this way: your husband tells you his ex-girlfriend--the one he almost married--will be working with him closely every day as a partner from now on. You know that they had a really bad break up and haven't heard from each other in years, but now they think they can work civilly together. Are you comfortable with this arrangement?

Of course you’re not. Because you know that if your husband loved her enough to almost marry her, then it's very likely that those feelings will be reignited when they start working together. If love between exes can be rekindled, then it makes sense that the same thing can happen with someone you commit your whole life to Remember, the love is still there, all you have to do is work together and find it.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship will either evolve or stagnate.

Couples don’t grow apart just because. The sad fact is that they allowed themselves to grow apart, thinking that the relationship can take care of itself. We all know that we need to invest time and effort into everything else that's worthwhile in life--education, career, and business--the same thing applies (and goes double) for a lifelong relationship.

Because isn't a love that lasts one of the most worthwhile things of all?

On sale first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?

Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:


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