Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ask The Professor

So starting this Thursday, every Thursday will be “Ask Professor Edlund” day where I will take emails about your questions or dilemma and answer them on my blog, since a lot of you losers out there don’t know what the hell you are doing. Yes, I am here to help you out with the obvious. And reiterate the Edlund 101 Rules. So let’s get to it, shall we?

Can you attempt my class.....

Hey Professor Edlund, your blog interests me. I have a question. At what stage in dating (after how long) would I be able to invite a lady for a weekend overnight trip? Andy- Austin, Texas


First of all, please tell me that this woman is your girlfriend and second, if you are thinking about taking her on a trip like this she better be putting out. We no longer live in a society where we go on fancy vacations with our boyfriends and get separate rooms. That’s ludicrous. If she thinks she’s going to get away with that then she should not be going on any over night trips with you in the first place. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, like if you two are *ahem* highly religious church goers. I know plenty of Moron people who travel together and have separate rooms. But if that’s not the case, you best be getting laid before the trip or the night of. When men spend large amounts of money on a woman for a fancy vacations or trips they expect certain things---let’s just say it’s sort of like a return on their investment. I know, I hate to admit it, but it’s the sad truth. Most importantly, remember I only condone this type of behavior if you are in a serious relationship.

Professor Edlund 101, I was wondering how long in dating (months) before a guy knows if the girl is a keeper or just for fun? – Anonymous – Jacksonville, Florida

If a girl follows the Edlund 101 rules, a guy will know she’s a keeper. But seriously, usually a man can tell within the first five minutes of meeting a woman if she is a keeper…meaning if he’s sexually attracted or not. First his penis has to go “Schwiiiing” and then that little pea brain of his will actually start to think logically. I know that when I’m a date it’s within the first TEN minutes that I discover if I’ll ever want to date the dude again. But like I’ve said before, there are warning signs that should be able to tell you if she’s just for fun or to be taken seriously. Say for instance if she fools around or sleeps with you on the first date, she’s out indefinitely. These types of women are nothing more than play things. A woman who has some class and doesn’t let a man walk all over her is a keeper.

Hi there! If a woman has sex on the 4th date, do most guys think she is easy? – Anonymous

Unless she is in a monogamous relationship by the fourth date…then yes, most guys should think she’s easy. Edlund 101 followers do not have sex unless we are in a committed monogamous relationship. Period. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or the tenth.

Professor, in your opinion, discuss how important physical attractiveness is when meeting or dating a potential long-term partner? Lynn- Portland, OR


When I was younger I thought I had a type. I was only going to date the dark, tall and handsome. Ha, that’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. If I was a man I would have no problem finding someone in the looks department because there are so many better looking women than there are men, is that not true? Well, not too long ago I met someone who changed my whole perspective on “types.” I had usually gone for the preppy type…clean cut, thin, no tats, baby-faced and no facial hair. And this man I acquired feelings for was far from my type physically. But couldn’t help the strong physical attraction from the moment we met. Even though he wasn’t what anyone would consider good looking, I saw past his flaws. There was more to him then just his exterior and I think it was his spirit that made him shine. After him, my so-called “type” went to the wind. I started meeting other men and listening to my gut instinct. If there was any type of attraction, I would go on a date with him. I didn’t matter to me if he didn’t look like Hugh Jackman, in fact it didn’t matter to me what he looked liked as long there was some sort of physical attraction. If I can’t imagine myself waking up next to the person for the next fifty years, then he probably isn’t the guy for me. I think “type” is just some fantasy made up in our head. We’ve been brain washed by Hollywood and all these ridiculously good looking people we see in movies and soap operas. It taunts us into a false sense hope when the reality is that we will probably never end up with a Brad Pitt. And if we try to strive for only the Brad Pitts in the world then we are going to end up sad, lonely old women.

Tune in next week for another Edition of “Ask The Professor”. You can send your comments or questions to

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  1. How many drinks will it take to guarantee a good date?

  2. Drinks are a date's lubricant. If a date does not drink one must excuse themselves to the restroom and instead leave.

  3. I like this 'ask the professor' idea. Here is my question for next week's post: Is using a chicken in the bedroom too kinky?