Edlund101-Act like ladies but think like men...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Love is number one reason for suicide

This just in....

Love may be the first thing that a person considers when entering a relationship, but it is also the number one reason why one commits suicide, a marriage and family counselor said.
Citing studies and personal experience with patients, Maribel Dionisio of Love Institute Philippines said love -- or lack of love -- is usually what causes a person to decide to end his or her life.
Dionisio made the statement as two suicide killings in separate malls in a span of a week sent security experts and parents into a frenzy.
Both the September 20 shooting in SM Pampanga involving two minors and the September 14 incident in SM North EDSA have been labeled by police as a "crime of passion."
"The number one reason for suicide is love. The number two reason for suicide is no love," Dionisio said in an interview on ANC's "Headstart" on Monday.
"It's about the lack of love, either from a special friend or from the family -- or too much of it -- that a person feels bad."
Dionisio noted that teens are at a much higher risk for suicide since "they are still maturing."
Given this, she stressed the need for "proper guidance and love and affection" to prevent them from "doing things on their own."
"The 13-year-old had a problem and he did not share it with a responsible adult. The error is in not creating a network where the child can talk. So we have to do that," Dionisio said, referring to the young man who killed himself after shooting his 16-year-old friend in SM Pampanga.
"Teenagers will imitate anything. Maybe in this case, this teenager is desperate, he feels so bad and has no one to talk to...they do the same thing."
Meanwhile, Dionisio said parents should watch out for significant changes in their child's behavior to prevent suicide attempts.
"Before they get suicidal, there's a feeling of sadness, depression. That's why the parents should be alert. Their ears and eyes are open. Watch out for significant changes, such as in grades, in going out and other activities, or eating habits," she said.
Avoiding heartbreak
To avoid unnecessary heartbreak (which may lead to suicide), have your first boyfriend or girlfriend in third year college, Dionisio suggested.
This as high school kids tend to like to collect what Dionisio called as "special friends," causing them to have a harder time staying loyal to their current partners.
"It's the nature of a teenager to collect and collect. You have special friends, but not exclusive...Your mindset changes when you get to college," she explained.
By second year college, Dionisio said a person probably has a "whole list" of special friends.
"From there, you get the best. Just don't get the first one who comes around," she said.
Acceptance
Single or in a relationship, straight or gay, children should be loved and accepted by their parents, Dionisio stressed.
The love of a parent, she said, is crucial in building a person's self-worth which, in turn, affects his or her actions.
"It's the foundation of the child to feel good about himself and to do the right things. Kasi the feeling is if my parents don't love me, the whole world doesn't love me," she said.
Dionisio then gave the "ABCs of Parenting" so moms and dads can make their children feel important and loved:

Attention - the regular time you give is 30 minutes to two hours per day per child. Make it a point to have a once-a-week date with each child so there is no competition.
Building self-worth - Emphasize all the good stuff about them. Children will slowly shut you off if you're always negative.
Communicating regularly - Know how to listen and how to talk. Listening means repeating in your own words what your child said. Paraphrase.

Asked if it's best for parents to add their children on Facebook, Dionisio said, "If they allow you, why not? But you have to know also how to behave."
"Say nothing negative. Preferably, don't say anything anymore."

On sale now....my novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing, and now the sequel as an eBook.

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?

Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1030036015?ean=9781463727536&itm=7&usri=forever%2bblue

Buy the sequel-Forever Blue: New Tears to Cry, Old Songs to Kind on Kindle at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-Tears-Songs-ebook/dp/B007R54N5O/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1333478776&sr=8-3

Monday, September 19, 2011

'Stayover' relationships defined in study

Jennifer Edlund's website

Just two more idiots in this world.....DO NOT FOLLOW THEIR EXAMPLE!

Are you paying rent, heat, hot water, electric, cable and wireless Internet ... only to sleep at your boyfriend's house six nights a week?

Congratulations. It sounds like you're in a "stayover" relationship.
You might not have heard anyone refer to your relationship that way — or any way, for that matter. That's because stayover relationships, while nothing new, haven't really been defined or studied until recently.
"I knew it was happening, but it wasn't being named anywhere else," says Tyler Jamison of the University of Missouri, who published "We're Not Living Together" this summer in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
The crux of her research: While those interviewed spent three to seven nights per week together and hoped to live with a partner or marry someday, they weren't ready for that level of emotional, logistical or financial commitment. They instead cherished the mix of intimacy and independence afforded by their current arrangement.
New step in dating

Josh Keaton, 27, who works at PAETEC, and Cate Lape, 25, a registered nurse at Strong Memorial Hospital, met on Lape's first day living in Rochester. Neither wanted to rush the relationship, so they kept sleepovers to a minimum. "Your lives are connected to a certain extent (when you're dating), but you haven't made that next level of commitment where your home lives will be completely wrapped around each other," Keaton says. "You want to take it one step at a time. You don't want to go from hanging out once or twice a week to waking up together every morning and doing each other's laundry."
It's also healthy for a new couple to spend time apart so that each partner can experience that feeling of missing the other, Lape says, while at the same time reflecting on how the relationship is going.
As it got to summer and their schedules started coinciding more, they spent more and more time — and nights — as a couple. But they didn't rush to move in together.
Keaton preferred Lape's place in Corn Hill to his own and began spending more and more nights there. Before long, once or twice a week had turned into every night. They didn't feel the need to have a conversation about the frequency of their stayovers until the prospect of living together came up. Their conversation was about both emotions — neither had any qualms — and practical matters. They were both transitioning into their lives as young professionals, and they wanted to combine their buying power so they could live in a nicer apartment.

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dating and the Art of Breaking It Off

This just in....
Jennifer Edlund's website

Neil Sedaka did say it best, in all of his 70's music glory: Breaking up IS hard to do, so in my opinion it's easier to break it off before things get, well, broken.

What's the difference between breaking it off and breaking up? Simple. Breaking it off is after those first few dates when things could get serious. When you could end up getting invited to the nephew's birthday party or the obligatory cousin's wedding.

Dating the wrong person is like wearing a pair of shoes a size too small. It doesn't matter how long you wear them for or how many attempts you make at breaking them in, they're going to cause you pain. So know what you're looking for before you put yourself out there. If you're ready to date, you know that part of that is knowing exactly what you want. So here are my 3 tips for breaking it off before it becomes breaking up.

1. Be honest with yourself and with the other person.

This is where you really need to rely on that list of what you want. If the relationship you're getting isn't your end-all-be-all, then you need to share that. It doesn't have to be a big, heavy conversation where you pace and wring your hands. A simple "this isn't really what I want out of a relationship" statement will suffice. If you're dating people because you want to find a steady relationship, then this statement opens up the door to the two of you either discussing what you both want, or you can follow that with "so while I'm happy to remain friends with you, I don't think that I see us dating." Hold on to this, and don't be dissuaded.

2. Don't have this conversation on a date, unless it's the first one.

If you've gone out with someone three or four times, you owe it to them to have an eye-to-eye conversation. Don't chicken out and send them a text. Don't disappear off the planet and lose their number. Ask if you can meet them for lunch (a finite period of time) and just tell them. My only caveat to this is - you can definitely have this conversation on a first date if you've met someone online and you're just not feeling the connection. Be quick, be calm and carry on.

3. Treat the other person exactly as you would want to be treated

Ah, the Golden Rule! It exists in so many circles in our lives, and it applies equally to dating (both the good and the bad). I have been on some heinous dates where I haven't followed this rule, and it creeps back into my consciousness when I'm faced with a bad situation again. Be polite and respectful, and treat the other person with every consideration you would want if someone were going to tell you this wasn't right for them.

Yes, breaking it off and breaking up can be a difficult thing to do, but it's part of being human, and definitely part of dating. If you're feeling angst over this process, remember - it's worse to be in a bad relationship than it is to be alone.

On sale now....my first novel, Forever blue, as paperback or ebook by Amazon Trade paperback publishing....

What would you do if your first love suddenly walked back into your life? This is a question Alexa Moore finds herself asking the moment she comes face to face with her childhood sweetheart, nearly fifteen years after his mysterious disappearance.

In this coming of age novel, it is the summer of 1992. Carter Storm is a precocious thirteen-year-old child actor awaiting his big break in the entertainment industry. Alexa Moore is just a regular teenager, seeking acceptance from her peers. With heartbreak and humor, these two friends expose a world of secrets and learn to survive in the face of life’s contradictions and tragedies. When Carter’s dark life suddenly unveils before Alexa’s eyes, she witnesses her best friend beaten down mercilessly by his stage mother’s antics, but Alexa’s strong will and determination helps Carter pull through his darkest hours. The two are bonded by a love that only deepens as they grow. However, Carter’s mother will do everything she can to keep them apart, so that her prodigy is not distracted. As a result, the two are forced to keep their childhood romance hidden from prying eyes. When Alex discovers Carter’s family packed up and gone without so much as a chance for goodbyes, her world shatters.
Over a decade later, Carter Storm resurfaces as a Grammy award winner, with a new name, a new life, and an entourage of screaming girls and paparazzi following him everywhere he goes. When Alexa randomly comes face to face with Carter Storm, the encounter sets off a string of events that will have her torn between the man she loves and the man she once loved. How far will she go when the man from her past suddenly walks into her future?

Purchase for ebook at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1030036015?ean=9781463727536&itm=7&usri=forever%2bblue

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Smartphones: Bad for your relationship?

Jennifer Edlund's website

This just in....

SMARTPHONES, with more than 10 million users in the United States, are changing the dating culture of people in their 20s and 30s, a survey conducted by marriage consulting agency.
The marriage agency asked 294 unmarried people aged between 20 and 39 years old how smartphones affected their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
A whopping 79.6 per cent of those surveyed said smartphones affected their relationship in some way.
The three best advantages of smartphones for their relationships listed were: saving on phone bills by using free texting services, at 41.5 per cent; greater accessibility to information on dating places such as restaurants, at 29.7 per cent; exchanging messages whenever and wherever, at 20.8 per cent.
Free texting services or phone calls definitely save phone fees and make it easier for young couples to exchange messages or make calls, said 25-year-old college student Chad Singer. Dating has become convenient as information on good restaurants and to discount coupons becomes more accessible, said 27-year-old office worker Lee Bootson
However, smartphones can cause problems in relationships as well.
Of those surveyed, 37.7 per cent said that face-to face contact, hugs and kisses decreased; 30.7 per cent said interruptions became more frequent; and 16.5 per cent said the number of online rather than traditional dates increased.
It makes me bored and annoyed when my boyfriend keeps staring at his smartphone when we are on a date, said 27-year-old office worker Hiliary Hyde.
About half of those surveyed said they had had fights with their boyfriend or girlfriend because of smartphones.
Twitter or Facebook was the main offender for 44.5 per cent of respondents. About 32.8 per cent had fights when their boyfriend or girlfriend became obsessed with their smartphone, and 14.1 per cent said spending money on applications and mobile accessories was the reason for fights.
About 4.7 per cent had had a fight over their boyfriend or girlfriend stalking their ex.
It is possible that your girlfriend can find out what you have been doing by reading your posts on Twitter or Facebook which you definitely don't want her to know, said 30-year-old office worker Chip Olsen.
"I've heard that a couple got in trouble when a girlfriend found out her boyfriend was flirting with girls on Who's Here."
Who's Here is an application which enables you to make contact with people nearby.
We need to think about what's missing in our daily lives flooded with communications whether we are neglecting our loved ones.

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1030036015?ean=9781463727536&itm=7&usri=forever%2bblue

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Relationships 101: Real Life vs. Fairy Tales

This just in.....
Jennifer Edlund's website

Do you really know the difference between real life relationships and fairy tale expectations?

Many good relationships sometimes go bad because one or both partners expect too much from each other, and sometimes the expectations are actually unrealistic.

Here are some of the most common unproductive beliefs people sometimes have about love and marriage - and the mindsets you can adopt now to create your own real happily ever afters.

1. A HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND WILL MAKE ME HAPPY.

Although most women may say that they don't need a romantic relationship, the truth is that so many singles secretly feel lonely and incomplete when they're not part of a couple. Now, loneliness is not a bad thing; we all feel lonely sometimes. But believing that a partner or other material things can make up for the loneliness is dangerous.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship doesn't make you happy, you make yourself happy, and happy people make happier relationship.

Relationships aren't magical things that take your problems away, they simply magnify who you already are. So the next time you see a happy couple and wonder why they have it so easy and you don’t, remember that any happy relationship starts with a decision to become happy first.

2. RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASILY REPLACED.

Relationships take work. They evolve and have the power to change you and your partner. And as these changes take place, they also affect your relationship.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: Diane Sollee, founder and director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education says, "A marriage isn't supposed to make you happy and satisfied; it's your job to make your marriage happy and satisfying."

A good relationship isn't something you talk about or dream about; it's something you have to work for. Most of the time you have to swallow your pride, try out techniques you’ve learned, initiate closeness, improve your communication, and be more loving.

(Important Note: Please bear in mind that we're not talking about dysfunctional or abusive relationships here. We're talking about the majority of marriages and relationships where love seems to get overshadowed by the stresses of daily life.)

3. ONCE THE LOVE IS GONE, THERE’S NO HOPE OF GETTING IT BACK

In the case of couples who are have relationship problems, the love never really disappears. Usually it just gets buried under layers of resentment, unmet and unexpressed expectations, and too much pride to do anything about it.

Think about it this way: your husband tells you his ex-girlfriend--the one he almost married--will be working with him closely every day as a partner from now on. You know that they had a really bad break up and haven't heard from each other in years, but now they think they can work civilly together. Are you comfortable with this arrangement?

Of course you’re not. Because you know that if your husband loved her enough to almost marry her, then it's very likely that those feelings will be reignited when they start working together. If love between exes can be rekindled, then it makes sense that the same thing can happen with someone you commit your whole life to Remember, the love is still there, all you have to do is work together and find it.

Real Happily Ever After Mindset: A relationship will either evolve or stagnate.

Couples don’t grow apart just because. The sad fact is that they allowed themselves to grow apart, thinking that the relationship can take care of itself. We all know that we need to invest time and effort into everything else that's worthwhile in life--education, career, and business--the same thing applies (and goes double) for a lifelong relationship.

Because isn't a love that lasts one of the most worthwhile things of all?

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1030036015?ean=9781463727536&itm=7&usri=forever%2bblue

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Relationships 101: Men and Women--Different But Complementary

Jennifer Edlund's website

This news just in....

Even when you were young and had no interest in the opposite sex, you already knew this truth: girls and boys are different, and there’s just no changing that. Even as women stake their claim in the world and men become more in touch with their feelings, there are things that each side will never fully understand about the other.

Still, all this does not change the diversity between men and women. And if you’re trying to grow a relationship that lasts, then it’s time you learned more about how to use these differences to your advantage. Here are 3 ways you can start now:

1. STOP THE GENDER BASHING.

It’s not about being politically correct. Instead, it’s about being completely honest with yourself. If you hate men so much, why do still want to have a relationship with one?

Making any kind of disparaging remarks or sweeping negative generalizations about males (that they can’t commit, they need to constantly be looked after, they’re all mama’s boys, etc.), even when you’re just with your girl friends does real damage to your current and future relationships.

When you say these things often enough, you subconsciously start to believe them. And once you believe them, you’ll always be looking for evidence to support them--even when you’re already in a relationship with a good man. You could start picking apart everything he does and might start to think that he’s guilty until proven otherwise. And no self-respecting person can last in a relationship when he’s made to feel bad about being who he is.

Grow a Better Relationship: Learn to appreciate and celebrate your man for who he is. Realize that he deals with his emotions differently. While you may believe that the best way to deal with work frustrations is to talk it out, he may prefer to keep quiet or decompress by sweating it out on the basketball court. Accept that your relationship is not a competition, so stop making him feel inferior by insisting that the way you do things is “much better.”

2. DON’T TURN HIM INTO THE MALE VERSION OF YOU.

If you want the kind of relationship where attraction and sexual excitement will always be present, you have to remember that the key to both factors lie in your natural differences.A Kinsey Institute study suggests that women respond to more masculine men and men with a take-charge vibe are usually seen to be more physically attractive to the opposite sex.

These are the masculine and feminine polarities at work. These “opposites” create the tension that fuels attraction. In relationships where you try to become too similar, you end up being polite and efficient roommates, wondering years later where the passion had gone.

But in relationships where you allow your man to be masculine, and you let your natural feminine side take over at least once in a while, you will find that although the excitement and passion won’t always at maximum level, it will always be there.

Grow a Better Relationship: Your guy is not an arts and crafts project, so stop trying to mold him into your image of what the perfect boyfriend or husband should be. He might often be unable to take the place of your best girl friend who will know exactly what to say when you ask his opinion about what you’re wearing. What he can be is the person who will know exactly what not to say and a strong and steady source of strength during really tough times.

3. KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER NEEDS FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

No one wants to go through life alone, unloved, and unappreciated. That’s the reason why we work so hard to build supportive, loving relationships. It’s easy to pinpoint what makes you happy: you want to feel loved, be his priority, know that, at any given moment, there is one guy who thinks “you’re amazing just the way you are.” And it’s reasonable to think that your guy wants the same thing. But it’s not always easy to find out what will make your partner happy—or at least how to convert those hazy “wants” into “haves.” The key to achieving all of that is respect. If you value your partner, then his feelings should be just as important as your own, and his goals should be just as significant as yours.

Grow a Better Relationship: Recognize the qualities in your man that make you proud to be his partner and let him know about these things. In turn, be aware of the traits that he says make you the perfect girl. Let go of your insecurities when you’re with him, and try not to be too critical of his flaws. Be appreciative and supportive of each other, and make sure that you’re honest and open at all times.

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-ebook/dp/B004O0U7NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311265142&sr=8-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1101047200?ean=2940012671165&itm=1&usri=jennifer%2bedlund

Or paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble:

http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Blue-1-Jennifer-Edlund/dp/1463727534/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1316036646&sr=8-3

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forever-blue-jennifer-edlund/1030036015?ean=9781463727536&itm=7&usri=forever%2bblue

Friday, January 7, 2011

Operation....FAIL!

Jennifer Edlund's website

Class is now in session....

A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry about why dating websites are a waste of time. And many of you had quite a few opinions on this subject. Well, after I wrote that entry I got to thinking and I came up with an idea. What better way to prove my point about how bad these dating websites are then to sign up on one of them myself. So what’s so big about that idea you ask? Well, I thought it would be interesting to conduct a little experiment. The only reason I would sign up on a dating website, as myself of course, would be to do it for purely experimental purposes. This means I would find a guy that was semi-decent, make contact, go on a date with him and then write about the experience. Of course I have one rule: to only go on a date with each guy once. Meaning---when the date ends, good or bad, it’s over and we never see each other again. Of course none of these guys would know they are my experimental game and I could care less about not telling them. Anyway, last Thursday I signed up on Match.com and Plentyoffish.com. I immediately had to delete my profile from Plentyoffish.com. That website just wasn’t cutting it; it was like diving into a sea of losers, literally. As for Match.com, there was not one single decent looking guy who emailed me at the beginning. Then finally maybe after the first three days, I got a few bites from guys that maybe had some potential. I took the chance and sent them my number, asking them to text me. I wasn’t going to procrastinate with idle chit-chat, shooting the shit emails back and forth, I just wanted to get the job done. Anyway, about three of them did text me, but nothing ever panned out. After like an hour of mindless texting, they all sort of disappeared. It was back to the drawing board. Once again, all the fugly losers started emailing me. And then I got all excited when this really attractive guy emailed me, finally! I open the email and read, “I’m looking for some casual sex and someone to spoil…. is that you?” I can’t tell you that I was actually that appalled. Nothing surprises me anymore. Well, on Monday another good looking guy emails me. I was expecting the same result as before, but this guy turned out genuine. But unfortunately, the gig with Match.com was up. I was going to delete my profile. I still can’t believe with all the hundreds of men out there, I could only find one decent looking guy. What a joke. Anyway, I emailed Tom back and sent him my number. Tom texted me on Monday night and I got back to him on Tuesday morning. We pretty much texted back and forth all day. He seemed like a pretty down to earth type of guy, I didn’t really see any red flags. Tom kept his texting “appropriate,” which was a good sign. On Wednesday we texted all day and things still seemed like they were flowing. I just have to say that not once during this time period did we ever talk on the phone. This was purely communication by text message. On this same day, he asked me if I wanted to get together on Thursday. We decided to meet at a sushi restaurant. Let me just start off by saying that when I found out this guy was Gemini, I knew nothing was going to come out of it. My sign and his sign are not compatible on any level and I’ve had some really horrible experiences with Gemini men in the past. But what the hell, huh? I was going into this thing with no expectations and looking at it as a research project, like I said I was going to do from the very beginning. Here’s the quick down low on this guy: thirty-three, just moved here from New Jersey, college educated, parents are still together, has a good job, and lives by himself. Seems like a good catch right? Again, I still wondered why someone who was attractive as he was would be on a dating site. I asked him this same question and he said it was just because he doesn’t really know anyone in the area yet. Okay, sure. I appreciate that answer. So yes, I did meet up with this guy last night. He was attractive; I’ll give him that, surely nothing wrong in the looks department. Ah, but then within the first ten minutes of meeting his guy, he throws out the f-bomb. Edlund101 followers know---this a deal breaker. The funny thing is that when this guy was texting me within those two days, he kept telling me what a gentleman he was and how he’s not like other guys. Oh really? Do gentlemen throw the f-bomb at women on the first date? But that wasn’t the only time he did it, this guy threw the f-bomb at me at least four times. Also, when I brought up that my dad had recently passed away there was no sensitivity what so ever. He didn’t really seem to care and never even bothered to ask how my dad passed away. He wanted to continue talking about more important things…like himself. Yeah, so I put off the f-bomb incident for the time being. What else could I do? He paid for dinner and so forth. No problem there. But it was in the middle of eating sushi that Tom asked me, “So you are a missionary type of girl?” I thought he was asking if I was religious or if I was a church goer. I asked, “What do you mean?” and he responded, “What positions do you like to use in bed?” WTF!!!!!! Are you serious!!!! I’ve known this guy, what? All of one hour and he’s asking me what sex positions I like? Edlund 101 immediate deal breaker rule: talking about sex on the first date. I looked at him rather shocked and said, “I’m not going tell you that.” Oh yeah. He got put off by my answer. That was the moment he lost interest and the date pretty went down the shitter. Hey, it’s okay. I was totally expecting this. I was just waiting for him to do something to break the rules, and he did it TWICE. Yeah a real gentlemen--- asking me about sex on the first date. Real classy. This just proves my theory about dating sites. The good looking guys on these things are only looking for sex. Needless to say, I’m completely done with Match.com. I’ve used Match before in the past and this was the last time I’ll ever sign up on their site again. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to continue on with this experiment. I was thinking about trying a different pay dating website like E-harmony or something. I’ll have to think about it. Otherwise, you’ll know when I post another victim.

One sad thing about all this--- this would have been the kind of story my dad would have gotten a real kick out of. I mean it was so bad that it was actually comical. The moment I walked out the door that night, I thought about telling my dad, and then I remembered that I don’t have that luxury anymore. My dad was always fascinated and shocked by my stories about the losers I came in contact with. It’s moments like these that I miss him terribly. In my head I can almost hear what he would have said on the phone and I can hear his laugh. I hope that never fades.

Class dismissed.

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